Categories: Sex & Dating

The Dos and Donts of a First Date

Relationships take serious hard work, and commitment… but how do you reach exclusive relationship status in the first place? The truth is you have to start with a nerve-racking and borderline awkward first date. Some of us are not naturally gifted at amusing and wooing a suitor with a first impression, but whether you are or not, you need to be aware of these few dos and don’ts of a first date, to make sure it is successful! 

Do, knock on their door.

I am not even delving into the idea of meeting someone at a nice restaurant for a first date. You want to make a good impression, don’t you? That great and seductive impression starts by picking that individual up from their house (unless they opted out due to uncomfortableness).

Walk up to their door and hand them some flowers?! Throwing it back to times when chivalry was not dead! You would instantly be greeted with extra cool points. Not to mention knocking on their door shows courage!

Do, ask them if they are nervous.

This is such a great ice breaker! On a first date, usually both parties are hosting butterflies in their stomach; knowing both individuals feel this way, and normalizing it, is a great way to start forming that mutual care and true connection!

While on a first date, you want to try and establish a spark between the two of you. Talking about your nerves can be such a cute way to escalate the conversation of feelings, and also gauge what kind of person they are– if they overshare and trauma dump, or if they know how to treat a stranger. 

Don’t, be too touchy-feely.

Oftentimes people who value touch as one of their love languages make the mistake of rushing too fast in the physical department, and no, I am not just talking about sex on a first date. Feel the vibe, and maybe start with a side hug as opposed to a full-fledged bear hug; some individuals might be off put. 

On a first date, you have to determine your intentions, especially with the touch sector. If you are looking for a one-time hookup, then by all means, jump the gun and be touchy feely! If you are looking for a life partner, perhaps a subtle brush of the arm is the way to go. Not too bold but hinting!

Do, ask them surface-level questions.

Asking a date what their hobbies are, what their favorite color is, and what they are doing (currently) for a living, is a great way to get to know someone, without the pressure of them asking deeply rooted and personal questions right off the bat. Stay safe and stay shallow. 

Asking too deep of questions also prompts too deep of answers. Do you really want to know about the time their favorite animal died, and in depth? These questions and answers also can be known as “trauma dumping,” and this is a slippery slope to climb– usually it cannot be recovered from.

Do, find out their favorite ice cream flavor.

Asking someone what their favorite ice cream flavor is so adorable, shows you are attentive and care, and also can prompt an after-first-date ice cream run! Proceed with caution and be weary, as this question’s answer needs to be remembered, especially if you make it to the exclusive territory. 

Don’t, take them to a Crab Shack.

This don’t is light-hearted, but true, and comes with a backstory that will have you entirely rethinking this choice of dinner venue for any future first date. As one can imagine, going on a first date with someone who wants to see you eat messily, wear a bib, and smell like fish after eating, does not end too well.

See Also

My closest friend was in her freshman year of college and was asked out by a mutual friend of ours– to dinner on Friday night. He picked her up and drove the two of them to their dinner destination of a renowned Crab Shack. Long story short he ate so ferociously a crab leg thwarted her in the face… he definitely did not earn a second date.

Do, leave if the date is weird.

This is the part where oftentimes individuals feel compelled to ride out a crappy date, and even end up paying for it! This is the time where you can stay strong in your expectations and boundaries and climb out the bathroom window. Don’t be ashamed, we’ve all done it at some point. 

Toughing it out and staying for the entirety of the horrific first date only makes the experience bad for you! Your date is probably having the time of their life sitting across from a gorgeous person and ranting about their childhood, or worse, cars.

Don’t, go to the movie theater.

This is the go-to venue for high schoolers’ first dates, and on the off-chance Mr. and Miss High School are making out in the back row, just avoid the cinemas like the plague. Imagine the awkwardness of comparing yourselves to two high schoolers on your first date, and feeling pressured to kiss? 

Aside from the laughter of children, shushing of grandparents, and average teenage atrocities, the lack of communication and true connection alone is enough to choose a different venue. Plus, if you choose that movie like Terrifier 2, that you’ve been really wanting to see, and then you waste your time freaking out about holding Mr. Right’s hand, that would exponentially suck! Dinner and a movie could be a great alternative. 

These Dos and Don’ts of a first date are relative to each scenario but have allotted capacity to be intentional in what you say and how you act. Remember to be yourself and give yourself the grace to be nervous and make the occasional mistake. I prompt you to ask your first date their favorite ice cream flavor! Maybe after dinner and a movie…

Feature Image Source:
Allison Payne

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