I have taken the Bro Code of Barney Stinson from How I Met Your Mother as reference for this article, but I know it is actually highly accurate to how ‘bros’ live in the real world. I also asked my boyfriend and he totally agrees with all these that I will include so I’m also a tiny bit worried about the male civilization.
Some of the codes for both genders are true, but we are highly different in certain aspects. Mainly when it comes to pulling. So we will dive straight in.
Bro Code 173
Bros only comment on a fellow bro’s fashion choice if that choice will affect the bro’s ability to get laid.
Let’s be fair, we girls have more to say about our friends’ fashion choices. It isn’t about whether they will pull in the clothes or not, it isn’t our objective, we just want to look gorgeous for ourselves. So as good friends, we help each other to achieve that, which means sometimes saying that the top doesn’t go well with that skirt or you may want to change your bra so it’s more flattering.
When it comes to fashion advice, girls, on average, will have more to say on the matter.
Bro Code 171
A bro does not sleep on the same bed as another bro.
Again, girls have a different policy about sharing a bed. Anytime I’ve had my friends up to stay while I’ve been at uni they’ve slept in the bed with me. It’s not like we spoon or cuddle or anything but we aren’t bothered about sleeping next to each other. It’s just a normal thing. It’s why I don’t quite understand the Bro Code that stops you guys sleeping on the same bed; why would you want to sleep on the floor over a comfy bed?
Bro Code 146
A Bro never lets his broken-hearted Bro drink alone.
This isn’t just Bro Code, but also Girl Code. No matter who it is, we are always there for our friends, and when they are broken-hearted, we drink together. The advice we impart may be slightly different over those drinks, but the principle stays the same. We don’t let our friends be alone at a time like this.
Bro Code 119 and 2
When a Bro wants to do something stupid, first you try to talk the Bro out of it. If they still want to do it, you film it.
A bro is always allowed to do something stupid as long as his bro’s are doing it.
What are friends for if not for getting you into trouble, as well as getting you out of it if they can? But when it comes to doing stupid things, it’s better when it is a group activity—and caught on camera to laugh about later. I mean, that kind of leverage is quality over your friend, just post it on their Facebook on their birthday and watch the embarrassment rise.
Bro Code 110 and 167
A bro does not cock-block another bro for any reason.
A bro may only ever stop a fellow bro from hooking up with a girl if, and only if, he is 100% sure that said girl is, in fact, a dude.
This is where I think the major difference lies between the Girl Code and the Bro Code. Girls will stop their friends hooking up with people if they think they are below their league or a creep, we don’t let our friends go home with weirdos.
Guys will wing-man each other all night long until they are successful, every night they are out. The Bro has to help his fellow bro hook up, go along with any lies they have said to try and bag the girl. Girls will support each other and try and help each other out but it is in less of a desperate way. A fellow girl will pretend to be a lesbian with them to stop them being hit on if they have to, and has happened many a time on my nights out. The ultimate cock-block. And one we want and need.
The difference between the Bro Code and Girl Code is that girls will cock-block to protect each other on purpose.
Bro Code 97
A bro does not allow his Bro to drunk dial or text his ex.
We are back to being the same again, no one will allow their friend to drunk text their ex because we’ve been listening to the post-breakup moaning and bitching about that relationship and person to help them get over him/her. We can’t let the ex win by having our friends text them. We have to make sure our friends stay strong so they don’t regret it the next day.
Bro Code 78 and 67
Bros DO NOT make eye contact while at urinals and DO NOT take a peek at their bro’s little bro.
A Bro never uses a urinal that’s right next to the other Bro.
These are very strict rules that Bros have to follow, when you’re in the bathroom your eyes stay forward and up. You do not peak at each others’ “little bro.” The rule that stops guys from peeing right next to each other makes me laugh. The memes that have been created about the guys that break that code and stand right next to you are hilarious. Personal space, man—it’s like they’ve never heard of it.
And girls really haven’t heard of personal space; we will actively bring our friends with us to the bathrooms so we have company when we pee. It normally requires us being quite drunk at this point, but the group trips to the bathroom are a known thing. We will pee in front of each other no problem. And the girls’ bathroom is the most supportive place you will ever go, we tell each other how gorgeous we look and not to cry over all the time spent on a relationship. There are even girls having to fix their outfits so you’re seeing their boobs and underwear. A very different environment to the men’s’ bathroom.
But the Girl Code isn’t that you don’t look or that you give each other space, the only rule is that we support each other. A better code, I think.
Bro Code 68
A bro will always verify another bro’s story when he is trying to score.
There are many YouTube videos about how girls and guys will always help each other out with their stories, whatever lie they have spun. It shouldn’t be—we should live in a truthful society, but that will never happen, so we have to help our friends when they are in a pickle.
They say they were out having lunch with you when they were really elsewhere, what do you say? ‘Oh yeah lunch was delicious, I still can’t get over how cute that waiter was. I wish I’d gotten his number, then he could bring me some more of that delicious food over as well.’
We can never drop each other in it.
Bro Code 11
A bro will not sleep with another bro’s sister. However, a bro is allowed to be vocal about her level of attractiveness.
Sisters are off-limits to a Bro, as well as mums. But when it comes to the Girl Code, we are more lenient in this area. The brother of our friend becomes a better choice because you could be step-sisters and you already know the type of guy he is. There’s no finding out later if they are a pig or a waste of space because your friend will know everything they’ve ever done. The farts and the brotherly-pranks, but you know his humour and his character. Go for the bro, babe.
Bro Code 5
A Bro shall not gaze at a naked Bro.
Girls get changed in front of each other, we are very relaxed about seeing each other in our underwear or naked. I’ve seen my mates’ boobs countless times—we just don’t care, really. We’ve seen our own, there isn’t much to be bothered about.
But when we do see our friends naked we’ve got to be sure to compliment them and tell them they have a great body. Again, we always have to be supporting each other.
Bro Code 1
Bros before hoes – A ‘hoe’ is defined as any woman that is not your wife or any other direct family.
The Girl Code also has ‘Chicks before dicks’. We aren’t that dissimilar in this sense. Friends always come before a hookup, but what happens when it becomes more than that? When it is no longer just a hoe or a dick, but a loving partner.
A good Bro or Sis will be the biggest third-wheel in history but they won’t be bothered by it because you’re happy. The Bro Code should have a rule that stipulates that when your Bro is in a relationship and is actually happy, then you support them. You become friends with bf/gf and accept them as part of the gang, so it’s a happy family unit.
The groups don’t always have to stay separate, integrate the boys and girls and you never know, you could end up playing matchmaker with some of your mates.