Intimacy is essential for the success of every relationship. And while being intimate with your partner can be fulfilling and exciting, there are some uncomfortable and mortifying moments that can arise at the most inopportune times during sex!
The first thing to remember when preparing for intimacy is that everyone has insecurities about their body, their ability to enjoy sex, and their ability to please their partner. Being honest with your partner about your insecurities and your fears regarding intimacy can help you both feel a little less nervous when the time comes, which can help you both avoid awkwardness during intimacy.
Remember that intimacy is an ongoing part of every successful relationship, and every sexual encounter is going to have its potentially awkward moments, which means the possibility of an awkward moment happening increases every time you do the deed. So, to help you manage your embarrassment during potentially awkward sexual moments and help you sustain a meaningful and healthy sex life, here are the best ways to avoid awkwardness during intimacy.
Only engage in intimacy when you’re ready
Although attraction can easily and instantly provoke arousal, the lack of a deeper connection can make intimacy meaningless and unfulfilling. It’s also a lot easier to become embarrassed or insecure about your body when you’re baring it to someone who you don’t know very well.
Take your time with any new partner and wait until you’re both ready before you start getting intimate. Remember, if you’re not ready to talk about sex with your partner, then you’re definitely not ready to be doing it!
Know what preventive measures you’ll take beforehand
Being prepared is one of the easiest ways to avoid awkwardness during intimacy from the get-go. For instance, it can be awkward if you and your partner start fooling around for the first time and the question of protection comes up: do you have it? Do they have it? This interruption can seriously lower the heat factor and ruin the moment altogether if it takes long enough to search the room for a condom or other birth control device. On the other hand, if neither of you is prepared and no protection is present at all, the entire shebang will have to be postponed, which might just result in further awkwardness as you both slowly put your clothes back on in disappointment.
Before you start getting down and dirty, discuss with your partner what birth control method you’ll be using and make sure it’s handy when the moment arrives!
Discuss your preferences and definite no-nos beforehand
It’s awkward when you’re in the middle of an intimate encounter and your partner does something weird that might completely turn you off and make you never want to be intimate with them again. Likewise, you might do or say something that completely turns them off, so have a quick conversation before any clothes start flying to determine what’s safe, what should be avoided at all costs, and what you’re both willing to try.
In the same vein, if you or your partner is grossed out by period blood, then avoid getting intimate during or near that time of month. The river can start flowing at any moment, and you don’t want that moment to be during sex!
Get yourself “warmed up”
Men and women reach arousal at different paces and in different ways. Men tend to become aroused more quickly than women, which means they’re often ready to go before their partners are. When women begin having sex before they’re aroused, discomfort is unavoidable, which your partner might interpret as displeasure or disinterest.
On the other hand, men often have difficulty becoming or staying aroused if they’re nervous, which can be embarrassing for both parties. To avoid awkwardness during intimacy, get yourself warmed up so that you’re ready to go when the moment happens, or ask your partner to do it for you, which is a huge plus! Foreplay is an excellent form of intimacy that can be pleasurable for both parties and can deepen your connection.
Know your body’s limits
If you’re not flexible, don’t let your partner pressure you into doing an acrobatic position that will leave you feeling like a failure! It can be very embarrassing to attempt a position only to awkwardly fall or roll over while it’s happening. If your partner tries putting you into a position that you know you’re incapable of performing successfully, kindly let them know that you’re not flexible enough and suggest an alternative that you think will be enjoyable for you both.
Remember, pushing your body past its limits during sex can result in not only embarrassment and discomfort—but also injury!
Laugh off unavoidably awkward moments
You know what I’m talking about: the relentless queef, the premature climax, or the presence of blood, to name a few. These types of awkwardness during intimacy are sometimes just unavoidable, which means you can’t let them ruin the moment. If it happens to you, laugh it off and make a joke or apologize in a lighthearted way and keep going; don’t shrivel up in embarrassment and show your partner your insecurity!
Discomfort is contagious—especially during sex. If you get embarrassed by an awkward moment, your partner will most likely feed off your energy and become uncomfortable right alongside you, whereas if you laugh it off, your partner will be more likely to laugh it off and let it go as well.
Don’t try too hard
Sex can feel like a performance, especially when we’re getting intimate with a new partner. We tend to feel the need to impress or please our partners by involving dirty talk, complicated positions, or forced verbal feedback (e.g., moaning) that doesn’t necessarily fit the mood.
Don’t force yourself to provide constant reinforcement to your partner. Instead, relax and let your body respond. If you’re in the right place at the right time and you’re both ready for this moment, then you won’t need to force anything!
Did these tips help you avoid awkwardness during intimacy with your partner? Let us know in the comments below!
Featured image source: https://www.insider.com/dehydration-effect-on-your-sex-life-2018-11
Jamie graduated from Cal Poly Pomona in 2016 with a Bachelor of Arts in English. She is an aspiring writer, professional editor/proofreader, and piano player. In her free time, Jamie enjoys reading classic literary works, composing music, and playing Xbox with her husband!