The A To Z Guide To Sex In College

If there’s anything teen comedies like American Pie and SuperBad have taught us is that your number one priority before leaving for college should be losing your virginity because all collegians are getting laid every weekend, right? Wrong. There are some people who use college as a chance to experiment with their sexuality while others wait until they find the one. You don’t have to be pressured to have sex in college.

It’s your body and no one should shame you for your experience or lack of.  Whether you plan on hooking up with your Tinder match or want to learn more than your middle school’s sex education class provided, here’s everything about sex in college from A to Z.

A – Abstinence

Abstinence and college may sound like a contradiction, but there are plenty of students who are choosing to refrain themselves from getting it on like Marvin Gaye. Some students are abstinent because of their religious beliefs. Others may chose not to partake in sex for their mental health because they recently got of a horrible relationship and want to wait until they find the one.  Abstinence can also be used for people who have recently been infected with an STD and want to be 100 percent sure the disease is not transmitted to their partner.

B – Birth Control

Birth control comes in all different forms; pills, injections, patches and intrauterine devices. Whichever you think will be your fancy, make sure you consult your doctor about the cost, side effects, benefits and any other questions you may have. Birth control is also great for treating heavy/irregular periods.

C – Consent

Before you and your partner get down and dirty, there needs to be a conversation on what the two of you are comfortable doing and what’s off limits. Consent can’t be assumed. It’s not the clothes you wear, flirting or the amount of times you have sex. All sexual encounters must be based on mutual enthusiasm. If your partner seems hesitant or tense about participating in a sexual act, it’s best to not go through with it.

D – Dorms

Sex in college is awkward. What’s even more awkward is your roommate walking in while you’re getting your freak on. If you plan on having a guest over, tell your roommate hours before that person plans on coming over. You don’t want your roommate to have to find a place to stay at the last minute. It’s also important to keep in mind your roommate’s mood. If they’ve been stressed out lately, they probably want to go back to the comfort of their own bed. As for your next door neighbors and the rest of your hall mates, make sure to keep it down. The walls are paper thin. If you or your partner happen to be more “vocal” during sex,  play music to drown out any noises. Just make sure not to violate quiet hours.

 

E –  Experimentating

Reenacting scenes from Fifty Shades of Grey may sound exciting but floggers, blindfolds and handcuffs should be used with caution. Trust and safety are vital with BDSM. It’s probably not the best idea to talk about having someone tie you up and gag you when flirting.

F – Friends with benefits

With numerous hookup apps and young men who identify as “menimists,” it’s likely you’re not going to find your future husband in college. Of course, not every guy in college is a douche but it’s hard to stay in a committed relationship when one of you plans on sticking around and going to grad school while the other receives a job offer half way across the country.

G – Gynecologist

If you’re over 21 or sexually active (this includes oral sex, since HPV can be spread from genital to mouth contact and cause cervical cancer) it’s time to see the gynecologist.  You should also visit your gyno if something doesn’t feel right down there. Gynecologists have seen and heard it all, so there’s no need to feel embarrassed.

H – Hormones

Hormones still act weird during your late teens and mid twenties. One day you’re horny and are ready to rip off your boyfriend’s clothes, the next day you’re annoyed by the sound of him breathing. Guys on the other hand, usually feel like it’s mating season 24/7.

I –  Insecurity

It’s easy for actors to rip off their clothes and passionately kiss each other when they trained and dieted for months to get the “perfect body” but in real life, we all have at least one part of our body we don’t like such as, you’re worried your partner will think you’re fat or find your boobs too small. Stressing out about how your body looks makes sex less fun. It’s highly likely your partner is already physically attracted to you, which is how the two of you found yourselves getting hot and heavy with each other in the first place.

J – Jokes

Don’t make any jokes during a one night stand. Jokes should be saved for the before and after period- the time we’re you’re trying to channel your inner Zooey Deschanel and impress them with your adorkable charm and when you want to kick them out but still keep the mood light and have leave them leave on good terms with you.

K – Kindness

It doesn’t matter if you just had the best mind blowing sex or if it was a snooze fest, you shouldn’t be broadcasting your sex life to everyone and their mamas, especially if it involves putting one of your partners on blast. What goes on behind closed doors is between you and them. It can be hurtful and harm that person’s reputation on campus if you’re gossiping and spreading rumors about their sex lives, body and skills or lack of. The golden rule for most things in life, including sex is treat people they way you want to be treated.

L – Love

Sometimes meaningless sex can cause you to catch feelings. After all, you’re doing one of the most intimate thing you can with a person- taking off your clothes, becoming naked and vulnerable and trusting someone with your body and letting them inside, willing to take any chances of a pregnancy or STD. If you’re someone who becomes easily attached to someone than meaningless sex is a no, no.

M – Masturbation

Exploring  and discovering your body is quite empowering. Knowing what you like and don’t like sexually can make sex more pleasurable and help your partner out when it feels like he’s gnawing on you vajay jay instead of stimulating your clitoris.

N – Netflix and Chill

This phrase has been overused for the past two years but if you still don’t know what it means, Netflix and Chill is code for going over a guy’s house and having sex on his ratty couch.  Typically when you first meet a fuck boy, he’ll suggest Netflix and Chill or sometimes the deviation of Netflix and Cuddling because he’s too cheap to take you out on a real date. f you do manage to make it through one episode before having sex, keep in mind, he’s probably using his friend’s Netflix account.

O – Orgasms

Some studies believe the more you feel emotionally connected with your partner, the higher chance you have of climaxing. This may be true but if you’re deeply in love with your partner and they have little experience, you’ll probably not experience the big O. Achieving an orgasm takes time. There isn’t a race to climax. Men typically achieve climax faster than women because it takes more time and effort to stimulate their bodies. Achieving the big O doesn’t have to qualify for good sex but if you’re tired of faking it, talk to your partner.

 

P – Penises

Penises come in all shapes, sizes, lengths and scents.  Some are thick and short while others are long and skinny. Some are circumcised while others still have foreskin. Some penises smell like dove men while others have a rancid beef jerky smell. Not all penises are created equal,so sex positions are not one size fits all. Plus size doesn’t determine the amount of pleasure. It doesn’t matter if he has a garden snake or anaconda, it’s all about how he using it.

Q – Queefing

A woman’s reproductive system is like a maze. There are a lot of tubes, folds and spots, so it’s easy for air to get trapped inside. Queefing is similar to farting, expect there’s no scent. Queefing is totally normal and can happen at any time.

R – Recovery

The morning after having sex can be awful for many reasons. The condom broke and you need to get the morning after pill, you cheated on your partner last night and regret it or you the person you just slept with is a jerk and now you have to do the worst walk of shame of your life. The best way to recover from a bad night is to think about your options and use your best judgment. If that doesn’t help, there’s always watching movies and eating ice cream with your best friends.

S – STDs/STIS

In the past few years, the Center for Disease Control has found an increase on sexually transmitted diseases and infections among young people. What’s even scarier is that many people don’t know they are infected because they aren’t experiencing any symptoms. Always practice protected sex. No matter how much you trust someone and think you know them, it’s not worth putting your health in jeopardy.

T – Tinder

A dating app where you can find guys in your area to hook up with. Swipe right for yes and left for no.

U – Underwear

Nothing helps you feel more confident than wearing sexy lingerie but there will come a time where you and your partner spontaneously hook up in the back seat of a car and you’re wearing a pair of granny panties.

V – Vaginas

Vaginas are such mystical beings. They remind you each month that you’re not pregnant, they lubricate themselves and babies come out of them. If you have a vagina, be proud. It’s so powerful, it can scare men.

W – Wetness

Sex can be messy because of various body fluids and leave stains. Good thing your sheets were on sale at Target.

X – XXX Videos

Your partner couldn’t make you climax so you watch porn to help yourself finish.

Y – Yoga

Sex positions from Cosmopolitan Magazine sound a lot like yoga poses, the hand over heels, the standing tiger and the downward facing dog. If you and your partner are  feeling limber enough to try these positions, make sure the two of you stretch before hand. Namaste.

Z – Zzzzs

After having great sex all night or having to deal with sex that was completely unsatisfying, you’ll want to get some sleep because you’re exhausted or want to forget about last night.

Did we miss anything in this guide to having sex in college? Comment below.
Featured photo source: pexels.com
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Jillian Holness

Jillian Holness is a junior magazine journalism major with minors in fashion and entrepreneurship. Jillian has had her work published in various student media platforms on campus, such as Kent Wired, Uhuru, A Magazine, Her Campus Kent State and her friend Angel's feminist zine, Eleanor. Jillian hopes to start her own magazine someday that intertwines with her passion for social justice, love of fashion and interests in photography.