Text messages are how we communicate these days. Especially with all of us being locked down in our homes. Right now, many singles are using dating sites to help find love. Here are 15 things you should definitely avoid sending your crush.
One Word Responses
Only sending your crush one-word responses can make them think that you’re not interested in them and have no interest in talking. It can also come off as passive-aggressive and, especially when we’re texting, things can be misunderstood so easily.
We need to talk…
Don’t. I repeat, don’t, send this in a text. No matter how badly you need to talk, a text isn’t the place for it. If it’s a conversation that seriously enough to warrant the use of this phrase, then it’s something that needs to be said in person.
I understand that you might be more comfortable saying this particular thing over text simply because you don’t have to face the other person, but don’t do it. Give them a chance to speak face to face with you. Not only is it easier on them, but it gives them a chance to read your facial expressions and body language. This can also avoid any misunderstandings.
Just don’t. I’ve been completely guilty of this one. Nothing you say will make sense and everything can, and probably will be misunderstood. You’re also likely to say something that you don’t mean. You tend to be far more honest when you’re drunk and may say something you’ll later regret. Your crush doesn’t need to find out that you’re falling for him in a drunken text that makes you look like a toddler trying to text on Mom’s phone.
Full On Love Confession
Do NOT confess your undying love for your crush in a text. Do not even say that you’re starting to fall for them in a text. Leave even the “I’m really starting to like you.” for after you’ve said it a couple of times in person. Leave the love confessions for after you’ve been dating for a while.
Please only send these if you are asked. You don’t know where your crush is, who they’re around, or who may see the photo when they open their phone.
If you’re going to send nudes, first make sure it’s to someone that you trust. You don’t know where those photos are going to end up if you don’t trust this person.
You also don’t want to seem desperate. Unsolicited nudes early in the relationship can often make you appear just thirsty.
Aggressive Sexual Texts
Give the relationship some time to grow. Chances are, if you’re just beginning to talk, you shouldn’t be sending aggressive sexual text messages anyways. They may not be prepared for them. Work up to these kinds of text messages. Start with simple flirting. Gauge his response and work your way upwards.
“Are You Getting These?”
We live in a busy world. Some are busier than others. Make sure that you’re not irritating your crush by sending this no-no text. Chances are near 100% that they’re getting the texts your sending. Don’t annoy the hell out of them by piling them up. Give them some time to answer.
You don’t know what they’ve got going on. Especially if they’re a parent. With kids being out of school, for the rest of the year in some places, parents are now having to homeschool. Check-in after a day, maybe even two, and just see how things are going. And whatever you do…don’t complain about them taking the time to answer.
Leave Your Ex’s Out
Don’t talk about your ex’s. Why do us women do that? Leave them in the past.
Now, there will come a time in your new relationship (if it comes to that point) where you will have a chance to talk about this. Don’t go into details.
Now, there are certain circumstances where talking about your ex in slightly more detail is appropriate, and necessary. If you’ve left a relationship that is dangerous, it may be a good idea to tell your new beau (after you’ve been together for a bit and know you can trust them) what happened. If you’re like me, you may still have some triggers that you flinch from. This is probably the one time it’s ok to talk to your new man about your ex’s.
Do NOT Manipulate them Into Feeling Guilty
This is a horrible tactic used by a group of people with a narcissistic personality disorder. They are a group of people who take no responsibility for their problems or their actions. They will manipulate you into feeling guilty for minor things, such as missing a call or a text.
Don’t behave this way to a new beau. It can be a massive red flag for them.
It all falls back to the old saying. Treat others the way you would want to be treated.
Something You SHOULDN’T Know About Them…Yet
Stalker alert. Really, that’s all. You look like a stalker if you come to them with information about themselves that you have no business knowing yet. Try to avoid it.
The First “I Love You”
This is self-explanatory and I really shouldn’t have to do it.
Say this in person. Always say this in person. I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t want to hear this for the first time from my crush in a text. I’d want to hear it from their beautiful lips.
With that said…if your crush isn’t ready for it, it can be really, really, awkward.
Too Many Responses
Give him time, woman! He’s likely busy, as I address above. Don’t pile the messages one on top of the last. Give him some breathing room.
Something Super Personal About Yourself
In the beginning, keep things light. Don’t bring things down by being somber and sad. Talk about your favorites. Your favorite music, your favorite food. Keep it light.
Every Single Meme You Find Funny
I understand. There are sooooooooo many of them. Depending on the number of groups you belong to on Facebook your timeline may be covered in them. Don’t overwhelm your crush with them
If you find that there are multiple that you really want to share, try saving them to your phone. You can always share later.
I had one crush where we had entire conversations with memes. It was great. I’m sure we were both scrambling to find appropriate ones depending on where the conversation was going, but it was fabulous and the conversation lasted for hours.
Your Plans For Your Future…With Them
Oh, dear. You’re going to scare them away if this comes up too soon. Especially if it comes up in text messages before you’ve had a chance to talk about it in person. (If, and only IF, the relationship has been established, and you both agree that there is a future together for the two of you!)
Once you’ve been together for a while, these kinds of conversations will happen naturally over text, and that’s ok. Just don’t do it when this person is still just a crush. You’ll sound creepy.
Any further advice on text messages you should never send your crush? Are you guilty of any of the above? Let us know in the comments!
Featured Image Credit: https://www.pride.com/lovesex/2019/8/08/8-things-you-should-never-text-your-crush#media-gallery-media-1
Lucky mom of three beautiful children ages 9, 11 & 12. I graduated with a double bachelor's degree in 2015 from Ashford University. One in Journalism and Mass Communications and the second in Public Relations and Marketing.