With being a bi-sexual woman, there comes a lot of struggles that you have to face. This isn’t to say that coming to terms with your sexuality isn’t worth it, or that it’s more difficult than the others—there just tends to be specific situations that a bi-sexual woman has to deal with when coming to terms with it all. Here are the 10 struggles of being a bi-sexual woman.
1. People think it’s a phase
Despite claiming your sexuality, others have a hard time believing it. This most likely happens with anyone who isn’t straight. It’s always hard being different from the norm. It skews the minds of those who see everything as what it “should be”. This means that other’s will question whether or not it’s real or just a phase in your life to get over.
2. You think it’s a phase
To be honest, I was one of those people who thought heterosexuality was the norm. I questioned my feelings and thoughts for girls, because I was taught by a society that it was unusual to be this way. This happened especially because I also liked men. I questioned whether my feelings for girls were serious, or if I was just going through something temporarily that needed fixing, which is a sad way to live.
3. Men want threesomes
Ah yes, the best part of being a bi-sexual also tends to bring out the worst in others. To be honest, I feel so blessed to be attracted to both women and men. There aren’t limitations on the love I have to give. The problem is that men view this as their own benefit. Suddenly, they see you as a way to get more women, rather than seeing you as a woman who just wants the love of one person.
4. Women want friendship
This doesn’t happen a lot, but I have had times when I’ve felt something for a girl, knowing she would never be interested in me the same way. It’s not easy falling for a person of the same gender, knowing they are straight. There has even been times when they have kissed me, have had a sexual relationship with me, but then end up only wanting to be friends. I don’t ever blame them either, it’s just part of experiencing life. I just wish I didn’t have to get heartbroken while they were doing it.
5. Finding a place in the LGBTQ community
I’ve never really found a secure spot in the LGBTQ community, despite the fact that my label is placed in its acronym. I’m not saying I feel pushed out or ignored. I just think that claiming to be fully homosexual or transsexual has a more dignified place within it.
For instance, I’ve searched sites for advice on being “bi-sexual” and nothing came up. But, if I search the words “lesbian” or “gay”, there are plenty of sources to look through. It’s not that we’re pushed aside, but maybe we’re just not as prominent.
Dating becomes even more of a complexity, because there are certain ways of acting in relationships with men versus women. The best way to deal with this is to be yourself, but you have to admit that in every first date we are trying to play a part in order to gain the attention and affection of the other person. This becomes difficult when you’re dating members of both sexes.
7. Telling your parents
At first, telling your parents seems like the biggest struggle of them all because you have to actually explain how your sexuality works. It’s not just one way or the other. Especially with parents from generations that aren’t familiar with it, they will question what it is you mean when you say you’re attracted to both sexes.
8. People will think you’re lesbian
Just because I’m attracted to girls, doesn’t mean I’m lesbian. I’m bi-sexual.
9. People will think you’re straight
Just because I’m attracted to men, doesn’t mean that I’m straight. I’m bi-sexual.
10. Admitting to yourself that you are, in fact, bi-sexual
The hardest part of being a bi-sexual woman, is first admitting it to yourself. This is more for those who haven’t quite done it yet. At first, it’s scary, overwhelming and confusing as hell.
You have seen so many people label themselves as one way or another, but you just can’t seem to fit in anywhere. Once you finally do though, it’s so freeing. Once you finally admit to your bi-sexuality, you become who you are really meant to be.