My freshman year of college I opted to save a couple hundred dollars live in a “Quad Dorm” within Emerson’s Little Building, which has recently been destroyed. What does a quad mean at Emerson College? One room, four girls, and no private bathrooms, and all round a lack of privacy. Did I love my life with three roommates from across the country? Yes. Did having four roommates make it hard to have a good cry during the stress of finals or when I got in a fight with my SO. Oh hell yes. However, through my unusual living arrangement, I was given the opportunity to test new places to cry, developing and perfecting the list of 10 Best Places To Cry When You Just Can’t Anymore At Emerson College.
1. The Laundry Room in Emerson College
It’s finals week, your roomies are studying in your dorm, your hall-mates are filling up the common room with stress relief games between every paragraph of their final papers, and you want nothing more than to curl up into a ball and cry your fears away. The sudden abundance of life that comes with stress can make finding a private place exceedingly challenging but while the dorms, common room, and libraries, you can bet there is one thing they are not so focused on: taking time out of their busy day to wash their clothes.
Ah yes, the elusive laundry room. While the warmth of the dryers calms you down, the rhythmic tone of the washers can provide enough noise that been you may not hear your subtle cries. The movement sensitive lights provide darkness where there is stillness so as long s you stay curled up in that little ball you can go almost completely unnoticed. Plus, there is always the bonus of finally washing those three week old sheets.
Sob Score: 9/10
The stairwell is not ideal, but is crying every truly ideal? However, there is a pro tip where you can go to the lowest or highest level to minimize your exposure to people. This is also especially ideal for minimizing contact with people you know and see on a daily bases.
Sob Score: 6/10
Yes, you can cry in the hallway! Just remember to manage your time well and keep proper hallway etiquette. First and foremost, determine if it’s peak hallway time. If it’s past 12 on a weekday, you are probably fine, if it is the weekend, you definitely are not. Second, this is not the place for your wails and sobs, if you gotta get a good cry out opt for a different choice because you definitely don’t want someone launching a noise complaint and have the RAs stumble upon your mascara streaked face. Understandably, the hallway has loads of restrictions as a common space for your floor mates, try to avoid it unless necessary but always keep it in mind as your backup’s backup.
Sob Score 2/10
4. The Boston Commons
You’re look like a lunatic. But it’s okay, this is the Boston Commons after all, it’s not like it’s the freaking Public Garden, am I right? Just let yourself weep in the patchy dirt grass and try to avoid the creeps. Maybe if you’re lucky a cute dog or two will pass by and distract you from your ultimately depressive state.
Sob Score: 3/10
Are those droplets from the shower head or tears running down your face? Who knows! The beauty of the shower cry is it gives you all the comfort of the shower cries from home, the sound of water hitting the shower floors drowns out the bulk of your whimpers and, depending on the shower pressure, possible even a few wails, but, most importantly, it allows you to ignore the causation of your weeping.
Who’s crying? Not you. You’re just taking a shower and letting the water hit your face. And those noises? Must have been the person showering next door. No person next door? Must have been Emerson’s sketchy piping. Nobody in the bathroom? What noises? You are completely sane and not deluding yourself from confronting your spiraling mental state laughing in an empty bathroom by yourself with a few remaining tears… I mean shower droplets, left on your face.
Unfortunately, shower cries aren’t always about cleansing your body and soul. Want to sit down in your weakened emotional state? Perhaps we should rephrase that as “do you want your bum to touch the shower floor you share with roughly 20 different people a day?” The decision could be tough but you probably don’t want to take the chance on a surface you don’t even want your feet coming into direct contact with.
Sob Score: 7/10
6. Dining Hall
Blame it on the Food. It has been tested and proven that people will believe you.
Sob Score: 4/10
It’s Saturday night. You are drunk. Maybe high. Maybe just really, REALLY tired. But above all else your roomie just stole your SOULMATE from you after you spent 2 hours seducing him at the MIT party. I’m not saying you should rent an Uber for the sole purpose of crying, but I AM saying that if you have pulled \ a few late nighters hitting up parties on a weekend, you’ve probably experience the Uber cry.
But hey! There’s no shame in it, maybe you were even blessed with one of those angelic Uber who hates frat boys as much as you. Sometimes you need a bitchy friend to come in clutch for you… but sometimes you need a bitchy Uber driver. Of course, you do always run the possibility of ruining you Uber driver’s night or having the awkwardly sit in silence/ try to make small talk. It’s a gamble, but like I said, this gamble isn’t always an active choice so much as an emotional frenzy brought on by your drunken stupor.
Sob Score: 6/10
Always good for the quick mental break down when you happen to hit the elevators be fire or after rush hour and obtain that golden private ride. This is a rarity. Take advantage of it when you can. Of course avoid crying n an elevator when there is anybody at all in it with you. It is a confined public space and it would definitely make things a little awkward. Pro Tip: don’t sit down or the security guards may yell at you through the intercom…. Trust me on his one
Sob Score: 4/10
9. The T
No, you don’t want to be that over dramatic bitch in public, and you definitely don’t want to bring your petty problems to all those nice people. However, on the other hand you may run into the possibility of catching an empty T box on some late nights. If you find that you have to cry in a populated or even crowded T box, just keep it quiet. Trust me; people have seen worse on the T.
Sob Score 2/10
10. Your Roommates Arms
Nobody wants to be the person constantly keeping their roomie together, but nobody wants to be the person their roommate feels like they can’t confide in. Try and trust your roomie, or, if you aren’t close with them, try confiding in a close friend. In my experience, as long as you don’t abuse a friendship or ignore the friend’s own needs most people will be happy to help you. If you are worried about crying too much simply apologize and explain that you’re trying. Give people a chance; they may just be exactly what you need.
Sob Score: 9/10