Have you ever unknowingly vented to a 5 year old and suddenly, their short, innocent, or unexpected responses to your problems changed your life forever? It’s amazing how a person who knows almost nothing about your life can help you without even knowing it. I thought I’d give a shout out to all the ladies who fall into that category, you know who you are: the best relationship advice givers…although you’ve never even really been in a relationship.
I’ll just be honest and say that I’ve never been in a real relationship. I used to hate giving relationship advice to people because it just reinforced the fact that I have very little experience in the dating department. I’ve watched many friends go through their very first dates all the way to super complicated on-again, off-again relationships. Yet through it all, I feel like I’ve observed them so carefully, that I know exactly what goes on in their relationships. And for that reason, I am someone that all of my friends have turned to for relationship advice with their guys. Ironically enough, despite never having gone through anything nearly as romantic as they have, I am able to offer my observations – ultimately providing sound advice.
But maybe it isn’t that ironic. I think that because I’ve never been in a relationship, I have a completely untainted and objective view of what I think a perfect relationship looks like. Basically, I still have the same fairy-tale idea of Prince Charming that I created when I was 10, and because I haven’t had reality prove me wrong as of yet, I am able to tell my friends exactly what to do to get that perfect, ideal situation, as I see it.
For that reason, I am also super objective about everything. I never take my friend’s side just for the sake of friendship. In fact, I sometimes take the guy’s side, because by not being involved, I’m able to really see where people are coming from, and I tell them what they need to hear, not just what they want to hear. “Maybe he just wants a night with the boys.” “Are you sure you’ve really told him how you feel?” “That’s his way of telling you he likes you.” These are totally normal explanations that you might just need to hear from an unbiased, and sometimes under-qualified friend, things that you would never really want to tell yourself.
I think this can be true for a lot of things in life. When you’ve built up the idea of something, like dating, in your head for so long, you want to create that ideal and make it happen, until reality finally hits and you see the true problems that you never anticipated. That’s why, until I’ve been thrown into the true nature of something like dating, I’ll always have the prescription for the fairy tale on hand to help others going through their problems. Because if you’ve never experienced the difficulty of navigating some part of life, you’ll always perceive it as being simpler than it is. And sometimes, we just need simple solutions.
My point is that you shouldn’t discount the opinions of your friends just because they haven’t gone through the things you are going through. Some of your single girlfriends could just be amazing at reading people and identifying the quickest solutions to your problems, in ways that you couldn’t even have thought of. And, if they’ve been single for a while, you should trust that they must have some sort of standards and insight into how they want to be treated. You should get all of their love-guru relationship advice as much as you can before they jump into the metaphorical dating ocean, too. And for those who want to give good advice? Learn how to really read people, and distance yourself from their problems as much as you can.
Remember that there is elegance in simplicity, and under-qualified friends can actually be hidden gems of great relationship advice. And always remember – boys will come and go, but no matter what your girlfriends will be there till then end.
It’s that time of the year when proms, graduations, and summer are on everyone’s mind: what will I wear and…