For most college students, alcohol plays a large role in the college experience. The issue is, the most common age at which a student attends college is between 18-22 and the legal drinking age in the United States is 21. The math here is easy: upwards of 50% of college students are not of legal drinking age. Because of this, fake IDs are a common investment for many college students. If you are one of the many students with an ID that is not actually you (or that is not actually a government-made ID), then you’re part of the fake ID culture, and you can most definitely relate to these 21 signs that you’ve had a fake ID for too long (and need to turn 21 already!)
1. When asked your name or age, your first instinct is to say your fake ID’s name or age.
Because you have memorized that thing flawlessly.
2. The name on your fake is also your drunk alter-ego.
And when she comes out, you know it’s been a good night.
3. You know your fake’s astrological sign and zip code and anything else a bander could potentially ask you.
Is it weird that if you were ever to meet the girl whose ID you use, you would know tons of personal details about her life?
4. You know your way around all your local liquor stores.
After all, you’ve been there enough times.
5. You also know which liquor stores are strict and which could care less about underage drinking.
Which is incredibly useful information.
6. You have a favorite liquor store that never gives you problems.
The guy who works there totally knows your ID is fake and he totally doesn’t care. This creates an impenetrable bond with said liquor store worker for which you will be forever grateful.
7. You know how to remain calm and collected when being ID-ed.
But internally you’re desperately trying to pep yourself up and wondering whether to make eye contact and what to do with your hand.
8. You are constantly keeping an eye out for police officers.
A.K.A. your arch nemeses, at least while out drinking illegally.
9. You always rip your band off when you leave the bar.
So as not to be questioned post-bar.
10. You always let your legal friends order drinks first to feel out how much attention the waiter is paying to each ID.
If their eyes flick from ID to person too many times, or if they bend the card to check for authenticity, it’s best to just sit this round of drinks out rather than risking handing them your fake.
11. You cherish any alcohol you have obtained in a way other than going to a liquor store.
Because you have avoided the butterflies in your stomach and the risk of getting arrested (or worse, getting your fake taken.)
12. You act cool if any friend asks you to buy them alcohol.
You always casually mention your fake ID, so when your friends ask you to put it to use and buy them something, you must oblige. Unfortunately, this means another terrifying trip to the liquor store, and the alcohol isn’t even for you. I hope your friends are worth it.
13. You’re prepared to admit that you’ve lost or put on weight if a suspicious bander questions the face on your ID.
“You’re right, I do look a little different! I lost 20 pounds this year.”
14. You’ve even spent time doing your makeup to look more like your fake and doing your hair to match it too.
Especially if you’re going to that one place that has a reputation of being sticklers.
15. You have a special compartment in your purse or wallet to hide your fake.
Because the worst thing that could happen is getting in trouble merely because your fake ID falls out of your wallet as you search for your real one while being pulled over for a burnt-out taillight.
16. You know exactly what the laws are regarding fake IDs.
Including the difference in having a real fake with your face and fake information on it and just using someone else’s ID.
17. Every story of someone getting an MIP freaks you out.
And unsettles your stomach more than a shot of tequila.
18. You always leave it in your wallet.
You never know when you’ll need it!!
19. You have a sentimental attachment to your ID.
It is your friend and you must be good to it as it has been good to you.
20. Every night without an MIP is seen as a success.
It’s such a relief to crawl into bed at night, stare at the ceiling as it spins violently, and know that you do not have a criminal record.
21. You’ll still feel like you’re doing something illegal even when it’s not anymore.
It takes a very long time to feel like it’s legal to drink alcohol when you’ve been repetitively told that it’s bad and wrong and illegal for 21 years. (Okay you’ve been told it’s illegal because it is illegal, but that’s beside the point.)
Are there any other signs for when you know you’ve had a fake ID for too long? Share in the comments below!
*This is a sponsored post. All opinions are my own.