While being comfortable with your partner is paramount to making a long-term relationship last, sometimes it just goes too far. The kind of intimacy that only true love can provide is wonderful to those involved, but absolutely nauseating to those who aren’t. Here are a few signs that you just may be too comfortable with your partner. While none of these are necessarily bad things, they all can be inextricably weird.
Shamelessly Sharing Noxious Gasses
Listen, everybody burps. Everybody farts. The natural expulsion of our bodies’ gasses is a completely normal and beautiful thing. I don’t want to live in a fart-less world. When wielded with perfect comedic timing, burps can be absolutely hilarious. The relief that the passage of gas can provide is second to none.
However, like with any aspect of a healthy relationship, it is critical to set boundaries. Moderation is a beautiful thing. I imagine that with most relationships, the frequency of breaking wind remains steady at zero for quite some time, but reaches a point where this frequency will begin to increase exponentially.
When should this increase begin? Whether it is after the first date, the first “I love You” or after moving in together, it is inevitable for most couples. To those living together who still refuse to unleash their vapors in front of each other, I salute you, yet pity you. Your restraint is admirable, but that must be agony.
So what is acceptable etiquette for passing gas around your partner? It really depends on the couple, but it’s important to have some respect. Even if you are comfortable doing the deed around each other, don’t push it. Have the decency to at least direct it away from your partner, and maybe give them a heads-up before you do it. Don’t just let it rip like a Beyblade.
Grooming Each Other
Isn’t it interesting how we’re so willing to put trust into complete strangers simply because we believe them to be professionals? Under normal circumstances, I wouldn’t let anyone besides a professional cut my hair. There’s no way I’d trust myself or my partner to do it.
The pandemic changed everything. People are serving up the most unkempt quarantine looks imaginable. Really, who cares what your hair looks like for a zoom meeting, especially if you’re using a low-quality camera?
Still, having my partner cut my hair is a line that I am just not willing to cross. Perhaps you’re more comfortable with your partner than I am in this regard. I’m sure there are many couples that go far beyond haircuts. If the two of you can cut each other’s hair or even wax each other’s unmentionables, then I tip my cap to you, just not all the way. I don’t want to reveal my abject failure as a self-beautician.
Untraceable Inside Jokes
As the great Michael Scott once said, “I love inside jokes. I’d love to be a part of one someday.” Inside jokes are elating and harmless to those on the inside, and admittedly this is the cutest entry in this list. Sharing a laugh with the love of your life like only the two of you can is heart-warming and romantic in its own right.
Having said that, have you ever kept an inside joke going for so long that you’ve completely forgotten its origin? I know I certainly have. Given enough time and intimacy, a joke can lose all meaning yet somehow retain its comedic splendor.
While this phenomenon is certainly not exclusive to couples, it is certainly more annoying when they do it. What is the joke of the year to them may be an incoherent string of words to anyone else unfortunate enough to be subjected to this couple’s brand of comedy. I’d urge any couple to try to trace their most bizarre inside jokes back to the source. If you can’t but you still die laughing at the mere mention of whatever nonsense it is, you might just be a little too comfortable with your partner.
Leaving The Bathroom Door Open
Now, this is an iconic sign that you’re too comfortable with your partner. This seems to be some sort of benchmark of intimacy, and I don’t understand it. Why is this a good or necessary thing? You know what is good? Boundaries!
The bathroom is a sacred place where you can truly isolate yourself from others. Inside a bathroom, door locked, fan on, is where you are your truest self. Why would you want to sully the purest alone time in civilized society with some arbitrary expression of comfortability? I say nay!
Close the door, light some candles, whip out Netflix on your phone and take care of business in your own little world of bowel independence. If you and your partner are truly okay with using the bathroom with the door open, then that’s fine too, but you should never feel like closing the door and reclaiming your personal space is somehow an admission that you’re not as intimate with your partner as you’d like to be.
Saying The Same Things To Each Other Every Day
Human beings are creatures of habit without a doubt. Establishing a routine is an intrinsically normal part of existing in society. It’s only natural that we establish routines in our relationships, too. The danger here comes in the form of conversational complacency.
The product of being around someone for a large quantity of time, it can be easy to fall into a linguistic rut with one another. It’s a natural tendency to be lazy when afforded the opportunity. The amount of effort you put into conversations with a client or a friend you haven’t seen in a while may differ greatly from interactions with a long-term partner.
Comfort and ambition are at odds with one another. You may feel like you don’t have to put much thought into conversing with your partner because they simply are your partner. While any good relationship should have effortless rapport, it’s important to remember to try when engaging in conversation. Don’t take it for granted. This is the only entry that can be genuinely harmful.
Discussing Other People’s Hotness With Each Other
I simply must end on a lighter note, as this piece is more of a celebration of intimacy than anything else. Are you so comfortable with your partner that you two can talk about other people you find attractive without jealousy ruining everything? What’s more romantic than objectifying other people together?
Honestly, there’s nothing more intimate than admitting to one another that we don’t just stop finding other people-pleasing to the eye just because we’ve found love. That’s not how it works. If we can’t sit down and watch a Marvel movie together and bond over our mutual appreciation of Chris Hemsworth’s pecs, then what are we even doing here?