We all have our guilty pleasures, and being obsessed with astrology is certainly one of them. From overly analysing everybody’s birth charts, to planning out your entire day according to what your horoscope says, here are fifteen signs that you’re completely, utterly, and dangerously obsessed with astrology!
1. The First Thing You Ask Everyone Is For Their Star Sign Or Birthday
Phase one… Run analysis!
Chances are if you’re obsessed with astrology, you want to suss out anyone and everyone’s sun sign (and judge them accordingly).
2. You’ve Googled ‘Cafe Astrology Natal Chart Calculator’ A Lot
It’s probably the most recent search in your history too.
3. You’re Driving Your Parents Crazy Demanding To Know Your Exact Birth Time
But muuuuuum! How else am I going to calculate my rising sign?!
4. You Use Your Birth Chart To Excuse Yourself From Your Faults
You look back at the time you punched your co-worker Linda in the face and just find it SO cute because it was SUCH an Aries in moon thing of you to do!
5. You Know Your Celebrity Crush’s Chart From Back To Front
Mmmmm I love me some Leonardo Dicapricorn.
My chart is also immensely compatible with Johnny Depp’s, which only leads to substantial frustration at the fact that we’ll most likely never meet and act on our strong vibrational connection.
6. You Identify Others Characteristics By Their Star Sign
Do you cut off pretty much all of your friend’s stories to let it be known that “of course” Mark got played by Sarah again, to demonstrate your knowledge that she’s “SUCH a Gemini in Venus”?
I thought so.
7. When You Are Into Someone, You Need To Know About Their Entire Chart
… Which causes immense pain if they don’t have their birthday publicly displayed on Facebook.
8. Researching Astrology Fills The Void
Well, no one said being obsessed with astrology was a bad thing.
If it makes you happy and distracts you from any current life difficulties, go nuts!
9. Astrology Has Interfered With Your Love Life
Ever ghosted that REALLY cute guy that’s so far done everything right because you found out he’s a Scorpio?
Then the next because his Mercury was in Sagittarius and yours in Cancer?
And clung onto hope with the dreadful guy because of compatible Venus signs?
Yep, I see you there sis!
10. You Use Your Horoscope As An Indicator To Make Decisions
We’ve all sworn black and blue to never contact our ex again, and then did the deed because our horoscope informed us that “taking charge and doing what you feel is going to really pay off today!”
We won’t hold you too accountable for that one.
11. Your Friends Expect You To Talk About It
Every time the word ‘astrology’ pops up on television, or accidentally in conversation, everyone around you winces, awaiting you to showcase your endless knowledge.
12. You See It As An Acceptable Form Of Prejudice
In your eyes, it is COMPLETELY okay to refuse to associate with someone based off of their star sign, and its compatibility with your own.
13. You Are More Likely To Take Your Horoscope’s Advice Than The Average Person
… And how convenient for you that your horoscope says to “not be afraid to indulge today”. Looks like that summer-ready diet can wait for another day!
14. Reading Your Horoscope Can Ruin Your Entire Day
Nothing dampens a great day like getting home, kicking your feet up on the couch, and reading online that “someone doesn’t have your best interest at heart today Libra! Watch your back!”
15. You’re An FBI Agent And Love Doctor All In One
As soon as your friend mentions a new romantic interest, you’re onto finding out their birthday, calculating their natal chart, and assessing their compatibility effective immediately.
Why risk a friend wasting their time when you’ve got the power?