If you’ve recently gone through a breakup, it might be tempting to jump back into the dating game just to prove that you’re not hurting. However, that’s probably the worst thing you can do post-breakup. By getting back out there too soon you’re really only going to hurt yourself and whoever you take down with you. But the seemingly endless nights alone with a pint of ice cream and Game of Thrones can get old eventually. It’s okay to put yourself out there, but you want to make sure you’re ready emotionally before you do. Here are some signs that you’re not quite ready to get back on the market. These are the signs you’re not ready to start dating.
1. You still have feelings for your ex
Well, duh. But seriously, if you’re still pining after your ex it’s definitely not the time to start dating someone new. You’ll only try to find someone to replace your ex and spoiler alert, that’s not possible! After a long relationship, it’s completely normal to always have a special place in your heart for them. However, you have to be able to tell the difference between loving what you had and loving the person. This is one of the major signs you’re not ready to start dating.
2. You’re trying to “win” the breakup
You never want to be the one who appears to be struggling more after a breakup. Posting pictures of you and your friends laughing at a bar looking fabulous afterward is essential to show that you still have people in your life to make you happy. However, posting pictures and snagging a rebound are completely different. Don’t jump into a new relationship right away just to show your ex that you’re over them. You’ll end up having to mourn two relationships by the time the rebound is over. This is another one of the signs you’re not ready to start dating.
3. You don’t feel like yourself
When you’re in a relationship it’s easy to lose yourself a little bit. You and your partner start talking the same. You watch the same shows. You pick up new hobbies together. By the end of the relationship, you’ve morphed into one person with two bodies. You don’t take the time to do the things you love to do anymore. Maybe that’s writing in your journal every night, or going on walks while you catch up on your favorite podcasts. Whatever those little personal escapes you did before your relationship were, you probably didn’t really miss them too much during your time together because you had a distraction. After the breakup though, you’ll definitely feel lost. Not only have you lost the other part of you, but you’ve also lost touch with who you were before the relationship. Before you should start dating again it’s really important to get back to your old self. Otherwise, you’ll just continue to lose a grip on your personal identity in your new relationship because you didn’t take the time to get to know yourself again. These are the signs you’re not ready to start dating.
4. You’re not open to love
After a bad breakup, it’s no surprise that you might be bitter. Maybe you’re bitter about love or about men in general or even about the human race as a whole. You probably think that every guy who approaches you at the bar is just trying to get in your pants or hurt you like your ex did. If you have these negative thoughts when it comes to the possibility of dating again, you’re definitely not ready yet. The prospect of meeting someone new should be exciting, not daunting. You should get butterflies at the sight of your new crush, not pangs of annoyance.