Nothing is more frustrating in a relationship than when one person is putting in all of the effort, while the other person is always making excuses why they’re putting in none. This is a one-sided relationship and you do not deserve that! If your significant other is not worshiping the ground you walk on and bending over backwards to make you happy, dump them. You deserve someone who proves their love for you every day, and we are not going to settle for one-sided relationships.
1. You’re the one that always makes the plans.
Your significant other should want to hangout to you. They should also make it clear to you that they want to hangout with you by asking you to hangout. Yes, some people are bad at making plans. That does not mean it is an excuse for them to not see you. Both people in the the relationship are responsible for making plans. If you’re the one that always makes the plans, see what happens if you stop for a few days.
2. They prioritize things like work and friends over you.
I will start this point by saying nobody is ever too busy to do anything, so don’t let them use that excuse. I don’t care how busy anyone thinks they are, it should not matter when it comes to your relationship. At one point I was going to school and working from 8 a.m.- 10 p.m. and I still made time to see my boyfriend every day. There is no excuse for someone to repeatedly not have time in their life for you. If they want to see you, they will make time. If the don’t, they’re clearly too “busy” to be dating you anyway.
3. They always have an excuse for something.
Have you someone your needs to have a successful relationship and they have a reason why they can’t do that thing? That is a one-sided relationship. Both people in the relationship need to talk about their needs and express them. If the other person always has a reason why they can’t do something you need, they don’t really care about you. The person you’re with should always try to make you happy. Relationships involve compromise and they need to be able to do something you need them to even if it is a little inconvenient for them.
4. They call you crazy for being upset.
If you bring up concerns in that you might be in a one-sided relationship and they get upset, you should question why. They probable already know what they’re doing wrong and calling you crazy is just their way of deflecting the real issue. People love to throw around the word crazy, but most of the time the person being called crazy has very valid feelings. Don’t let anyone ever tell you that you are crazy for having needs.
5. You’re always working around their schedule.
In a one-sided relationship the other person always says they have too much going on in their life to do things when you’re free. Because of this you’re compromising the things in your life in order to see them. They should value your time and not make you push those things aside for them. Both people should be able to find mutual times to see each other that don’t cause one person to push their personal life aside.
6. You feel like bringing up concerns would set them off.
If you’re avoiding bringing up concerns because the other person might get upset, you’re in a one-sided relationship. When you are in a relationship, you should be able to have mature and civil conversations about things that have upset you. They should care that you are unhappy and actively try to change their actions that hurt you. You both might disagree on issues here and there, but you should not be staying silent because they have done things to indicate they would get upset with your concerns.
7. You’re apologizing for things you shouldn’t be apologizing for.
In a one-sided relationship the person your with will often make you feel bad for having needs. Because they make you feel bad, you feel like you need to be apologizing all the time. Never apologize for having needs. Instead ask yourself why they’re so upset by them.
8. You feel like your partner knows you, but you don’t know them.
If you are constantly sharing vulnerable parts of yourself and they never share anything, the relationship is one-sided. One of the most special parts of a relationship is getting to know someone else on a deeper level and your significant other should be able to let you in. We all know sharing these parts of you is not always easy, but partners in a relationship owe it to each other to open up.
9. You only ever do things they want to do.
Do they shut down every idea you have? If you never get to do things you suggest, the relationship is one-sided. Every time you hangout should not be a casual Netflix and chill situation if there are other things you have asked to do. They should want to do things you like doing rather than only things they want to do. Let them appease you for once.
10. They don’t make the most of the time you have together.
In a relationship both people should truly be present when they spend time together. In a one-sided relationship it can feel like you are giving the other person your undecided attention, but they have no idea you are even there. This can look like them being on their phone the whole time you’re there or watching TV instead of paying attention to you. It can also look like them asking you to repeat yourself a bunch of times because they weren’t listening. Go hangout with someone who will treat you like they want you there.
Are you in a one-sided relationship? Tell us about it! Then dump them.
My name is Kayleigh Hughes and I am a senior at the University of Arkansas majoring in Communication. I'm just a 20-something college student trying to figure everything out like everybody else. I love to travel, sing, and adventure. I'm just here trying to do everything that makes me happy.