Dating in NYC is terrifying. The task of trying to find a decent, unproblematic guy without a girlfriend and potentially 5 other side hoes is grueling, to say the least. Online dating is even more terrifying, with the majority of Tinder dates ending with 30 seconds of lousy d*ck, PTSD, or in most cases, both.
Judging by the massive selection of men in New York with serious mommy issues to choose from, chances are, you’ve probably come across a narcissist or two. According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 50 to 75% of narcissists are men, which isn’t surprising when you think about the way that patriarchal society has conditioned men to be vacant cyborgs detached from any and all things having to do with emotions. But these vultures are much are easier to spot than you think. Read on for the 7 signs that your man might be suffering from narcissism.
1. They Were Charming…At First
A classic narcissist will initially seem like the perfect man, molding himself into your dream guy and having you believe that you’ve finally seen the end of your tragic love life. They’re usually social butterflies who have a gift for gab, and are always guaranteed to be the life of the party. But news flash- this isn’t the real them. They project this initial false self-image to lure you into falling for them. Sadly, as you start to get to know them and the façade slowly begins to fade away, they become cold and callous- nothing like the man that you thought you had fallen for.
2. They Don’t Give A Flying F*ck About Your Feelings
Every discussion about feelings, sentiments, and anything remotely having to do with emotions, will most likely go nowhere. That is because narcissists are literally incapable of empathy. Usually, once the narcissist has caught to the fact that you’re developing feelings, he’ll dip and begin the search for his next victim.
3. They’re Obsessed With Superficial Traits
Hence the name, narcissists are egoists who tend to fixate on superficial traits, such as their physical appearance. If he’s a gym rat who spend every waking hour lifting weights for his appearance as opposed to his health and fitness, or if can’t walk past a mirror without staring at himself, he’s probably a narcissist. Of course, it’s not always strictly about physical appearance. Narcissists want to project the perfect idealized self-image; they need the world to see the best possible portrayal of themselves that they can manage. So this can also manifest itself in other superficial tendencies, like showing off their money or obsessing over sex.
4. Talks About Your Future Together Are Non-Existent
Future? What Future?? Narcissists are vultures. Once they’ve used and absorbed everything they’ve already needed from you, they’ll discard you like a used tissue. You can probably see that from the way that they avoid discussing future plans with you. There is no future with a narcissist.
5. They Constantly Lie To You
Being a pathological liar and a narcissist often go hand in hand. The frightening part is that narcissists lie about small, mundane things that they really don’t need to lie about. Lying is just another way for them to solidify the false self-image that they want you to see.
6. They Truly Believe That They Can Do No Wrong
If you’ve ever tried to confront a narcissist about something they’ve done to you, he most likely managed to gaslight you into thinking that you were to blame for his wrongdoings. “Sorry” does not exist in a narcissists vocabulary. If you’ve never heard him utter an apology or admit to anything wrong that he’s done, he’s probably a narcissist.
7. They’ve Never Had A Serious Relationship
Because of the narcissist’s inability to commit to the emotional capacity needed to maintain a serious relationship, it’s rare for them to ever even have one. Their persistent need for supply and demand can never be satisfied, so once they’re done with you, they’ll embark on a brand new quest to ruin another unsuspecting woman’s life.