You may have seen the stereotypical families on TV – you know, the ones that sit at the dinner table to enjoy some meatloaf and share some laughs about their day. WHAT?! You couldn’t believe it. In your house it was always loud music and an overflow of relatives and just overall chaos. The truth is, no one understands what it’s like to grow up in a Hispanic household unless they’ve lived through it. These are the 20 signs you were raised in a Hispanic household!
1. When no amount of drama compares to watching Caso Cerrado.
From messy divorces to vampire identity issues, la Dra. Polo has got it all covered. And, it always ends with your abuela shaking her cane in the air yelling:
“¡Así se hace, Dra. Polo! You go, girl!”
2. When you know that Vick’s Vapor Rub© is the cure for absolutely everything.
Of course, when your mom said it, it always sounded more like vicvaporú.
Me: Mamá, my femur’s sticking out of my leg…
Her: Deja de llorar, where’s the vicvaporú?
3. When the mere sight of a chancleta sends you running.
If your parents are Latino, you know that the chancleta is more than just an unfortunate fashion statement. If you ever saw your mom reaching for her chancleta, chances are you did something wrong.
And you better start running. Fast.
4. When you’re used to greeting everyone with a besito on the cheek.
And most importantly, when you forget that other people don’t do that…
Jim: It’s so nice to meet you. (Reaches for a handshake)
Me: (Leans in for a besito)
Jim: What are you doing?
Me: Awkward.
5. When you have a love-hate relationship with food… but mostly love.
After all, your tias were always telling you to watch your figure. But, then again, they were always trying to feed you some more arroz con frijoles. So many mixed signals, but never enough arroz con frijoles.
6. When you learned to check the oven for pots and pans.
Let’s face it, Hispanic moms don’t understand the concept of the cupboard. Instead, they keep all the pots and pans in the oven. So, you better be extra careful when baking, unless you want to make the mistake of melting your mom’s favorite pan while preheating.
7. When you never got the chance to eat out.
McDonald’s, what’s that? You wouldn’t know, because every single time you asked your parents to get you a Big Mac, they would hit you with: “Hay comida en la casa.”
And no one can argue with a fridge full of food at home.
8. When you know how quickly going out turns into an interrogation.
If you want to go catch a movie with your boo, Marcus, you better have all the facts ready for when your parents begin their interrogation.
¿Con quién vas? Who are their parents? ¿A donde van? What is their Social Security Number? ¿A que hora llegas?
9. When you’ve learned to pray your way out of an emergency.
Maybe it’s because she’s Catholic, or maybe it’s because she’s seen one too many episodes of La Rosa de Guadalupe. All you know is that anytime something goes wrong, your abuela is prepared to whip out a prayer. And you may have learned a thing or two.
Me: I cannot fail this test.
Me: (Assumes prayer position)
10. When you get offended if anyone mistakes your nationality.
We’re all very proud of our country, and if there’s one thing our parents taught us, it’s to not let anyone forget exactly which country that is.
Like, no Gary, I am NOT Mexican. Colombia is nowhere NEAR Mexico. Arepas are NOT tortillas. And ají is most definitely NOT salsa. I’m not mad, though.
11. When you have to ask your parents for permission even if you’re 35 and have 3 kids.
Ok, hopefully by that point you’ve moved out of your parents’ house, but if you’re 18, you definitely know the struggle.
Me: I’m an adult now. I don’t need your permission!
Them: ¿AH, TE CREES ADULTO? Bueno, then, you can start paying for the water you shower with, the light you see with, and the oxygen you breathe with.
Me: Never mind.
12. When you understand that shoes are entirely optional.
“Omg, Ximena is literally being such a pata sucia right now.”
You’ve probably heard this being said behind your back every time you take your heels off at a party. But 3 hours later when they play the Cha Cha Slide and all the other girls have blisters on their feet, you’re going to be the one slaying the dance floor. Just saying.
13. When you know better than to tell your mom you can’t find something.
Let me know how we could spend three days looking for something, but the second we tell our mom it’s lost, she manages to find it two seconds later.
Me: Mami, I can’t find my hoops.
Her: Bet.
14. When you’ve developed an amazing ability for memorizing names.
Mira, you have like 20 cousins, and that’s only on your dad’s side. Not to mention the ones that may not be related to you, but who always go to family reunions anyways. You can name them all. Just ask Pepito… or Miguel… or Felipe…
15. When you got used to taking a sweater with you at all times.
If there was one thing your mom jamás let you leave without, it was a sweater. Even if you live in Miami and it’s mid-summer and you might get heat stroke. At least you won’t catch pneumonia and die, which she was sure would happen if you didn’t take it.
16. When saying “Yes, ma’am” has become a reflex.
You might respond “Yes, ma’am” to one of your friend’s moms and get a whole speech about how you’re making her feel old, but in your house –
Her: Are you hungry?
Me: Si!
Her: Si, ¿Qué?
Me: Si, señora…
=
17. When the smell of Fabuloso means there are guests coming over.
You may have helped your family clean the entire house yesterday, but today there are guests coming over, so you must clean it again. This means it’s time to bring out the Fabuloso, the only cleaning product your family trusts wholeheartedly.
18. When superstitions are literally your life.
We all grew up hearing Abuela’s old wives’ tales. And, even though, we were never sure if they were real, you can bet we believed them – and definitely feared them.
Me: (Puts purse on the floor)
Her: How many times do I have to tell you not to do that, que se te pierde el dinero!
19. When you never got to celebrate the holidays like in the movies.
While all your friends are opening presents on Christmas morning, you’re dead asleep, because you were celebrating Nochebuena all night.
And on New Year’s, you can forget about watching the Ball Drop, because when the clock strikes twelve, you start running with your suitcase a darle la vuelta a la manzana.
20. When you’re extra careful when it comes to bad words.
No amount of mouthwash in the world can help you forget the taste of soap after you’ve said a bad word in front of your mother.
Me: What the f***?
Her: Say that one more time, a ver si no te lavo esa boca con jabón.
Me in the future: What the fudge?
This is a sponsored post. All opinions are my own!
Featured Image: Twitter
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