Here are the 10 signs that you are definitely go to UVA:
1. You’re perception on distance is way smaller
Literally everything you need is at a five minute walk tops. The Corner has everything from bars, to restaurants, to coffee shops for studying. I mean there’s even a tattoo shop right there if you need to make some exciting or terrible decisions after three wahoos. Who doesn’t love going out to Boylan for drinks and then walking six feet to Christian’s for drunk food. It doesn’t get much easier than that. And if you have any day drinking accidents, the hospital is five minutes away. Therefore our idea of what is “far” may be a bit skewed considering the close availability of all our needs in Cville. If it’s more than 10 minutes away, it may as well be in Blacksburg.
2. Virginia Tech?
3. Christian’s is the move.
Realistically there’s nothing better than when the lights turn on at Trinity at 2 a.m. sharp and your body knows it’s time for drunk food. Its like some kind of Pavlovian cue where our mouths start salivating when the bar shuts down. I have seen the sketchiest things happen in Christian’s; from a fight that started when Chad cut Chance in line, (not their names but I’m sure I’m not too off) you can always find one girl with mascara stains down her face as she scarfs down a pepperoni pizza and maybe someone in the corner of Christian’s is eating pizza off of the floor. Have you ever had the tall guy that never speaks in your Tuesday seminar talk to you as if you were best friends? Ha, yeah me neither. There’s a certain warmth that you receive when you get your avocado and feta topped pizza and you get to eat it with all the parmesan cheese that you want. The smell of Christian’s is home, at this point I’ll probably serve their pizza at my wedding.
4. You have a stack of Wahoo cups in your house
When outsiders visit UVA and get taken to the beloved Boylan they are quite confused about the ritual of trying your first Wahoo. It’s one of the first pit stops I make when I have visitors. Maybe the sketchy grey liquid, which is held in a plastic container/ box situation, doesn’t scream appealing to them, but once they try it they understand why it’s eight bucks, and worth it. Or maybe not right there in the moment, they first may tell you it tastes like pond water, but the next day when they can’t remember how they got home or why they have a peanut shaped bruise on their leg, they’ll be sure to thank you! And if not at least they get an awesome free cup, which surely makes up for it.
5. There is a love for TJ that is not common across America
We all love TJ, that’s it. And yes, that is what we call Thomas Jefferson at UVA.
6. You’re used to the cheapest prices for drinks so drinking out of town seems ridiculous
25 dollars for a Long Island Iced Tea? Are you KIDDING? That’s like 10 shots at The Hole, and five vodka soda’s at Trinity. It’s actually insane when you go out to bigger cities such as D.C. and New York and you find yourself spending all of your night’s money on two drinks. No thank you, I’d rather have my 17 jello shots. On a budget like that you really need to pick and choose your drinks. Once you get back to the mothership (aka Trinity) you’ll feel so rich you’ll be buying rounds of Fireball for strangers who look like they’ve had a rough night. It’s great to give back to the community!
7. You say “first year/second year/third year/fourth year”
If you hear someone say, “I’m a freshman,” you internally cringe and hope they get it together at UVA.
8. You love the football team even though you know we’re not making it anywhere
Maybe our past performances with our football team haven’t landed us in top scoring positions (is that how you say it?), but hey there’s always next season. Football games are also a great excuse to start drinking at 11 a.m. and then eat a funnel cake at the stadium.
9. You’ve experienced an all nighter at Clem, or at least attempted one
We’ve all had to suffer through final’s seasons in the Clem library where odd things become normal and people even bring sleeping bags to stay the night (I swear I’ve seen this happen). My personal favorite part is when you get to witness people having melt downs first hand, such as when you see the girl in front of you looking up “what is a source” (also seen this happen) or when the guy who’s had way too much coffee in the corner is now staring at memes on his computer. I’ve also had a friend have a laughing attack because she searched a picture of a blow fish on the internet. Tragic.
10. You are obscenely proud of your school and wouldn’t want to go anywhere else
When people ask me what school I go to, I say it loud and proud. It’s an honor to be a Wahoo and I wouldn’t want any other place to be my home. Extremely cheesy, but I really love Boylan Wahoos and don’t think any college competes with that.