Are you or aren’t you compatible with your significant other? Sometimes it’s difficult to know for sure so we’ve compiled a list of 15 signs to tell whether you are or aren’t compatible with each other.
1. They don’t make an effort for you
A relationship is not a one way street, and you should not be putting all of your effort into it without receiving any in return. Both sides should be putting in the same amount of effort. So if you are always the first one to text, or the only one dressing up for dates then they likely aren’t as interested. This could be a sign that they aren’t compatible with you. Don’t waste your time. Find someone that is eager to make an effort to impress you or make you happy.
2. They don’t try to understand your side of an argument
No relationship is perfect, and sometimes arguments happen. It’s healthy and natural to have a disagreement once in a while, but if you find that your arguments feel more like a wrestling match rather than a way to communicate your differences then that could be a sign that you aren’t compatible. Both you and your partner will not always agree on everything, and that’s okay. However, arguments should be less of a screaming match and more of a discussion. If the two of you are constantly butting heads, and they aren’t trying to listen to what you have to say or how you feel, then they probably aren’t a good match for you.
3. You don’t have many interests in common
While it may be true in some instances that opposites attract, more often than not a good relationship stems from what you have in common with each other. Being compatible means you both have some similarities. Maybe the both of you share a love for old horror films, or enjoy the same genre of music. You don’t have to love all of the same things, but having more things in common will make conversation easier and, in turn, you’ll be able to do things together that you both enjoy.
4. It’s extremely hard to hold a conversation with them
Some people can text or talk on the phone for hours with each other. Others prefer comfortable silence. Whatever you’re in to, you shouldn’t be struggling to find something to discuss or feel awkward around each other because you have nothing to talk about. Like I said before, if you don’t have much in common to begin with then you won’t have much to talk about. You shouldn’t feel pressured to always begin or carry the conversation either. Talking with them shouldn’t feel like you’re pulling teeth.
5. Planning a date feels like scheduling a meeting
You shouldn’t require a secretary to make a date with your sweetheart. If your schedules aren’t compatible, then it’ll be more difficult for the two of you to be compatible with each other. Finding time to see each other should not be overly stressful. You should be able to work with each others schedules and find time make a date with each other. Constant rescheduling or prolonged periods of time without seeing them could have a negative impact on your relationship.
6. Their quirks are irritating, not cute
Love is blind. Maybe you think they’re snorting laughter is adorable. Perhaps the way they talk through every movie you see in the theaters together is endearing to you. If that isn’t the case, and you find yourself feeling mostly annoyed by their quirks then that is one of the more obvious signs that you aren’t compatible with one another.
7. You have a nagging feeling you can’t trust them
And what’s a relationship without trust? Maybe you have a gut feeling that they aren’t just hanging out with friends although they said they were. If you feel like they are constantly lying to you or that you can’t trust them, that is a definite red flag. You cannot be compatible with someone you do not trust.
8. Life doesn’t seem brighter with them in it
There’s a reason movies are always characterizing the love stricken as having sweaty palms, butterflies in their stomach, and as stuttering messes. When you’re really compatible with someone, they should make you feel something positive. It could be as simple as them making you a bit happier when they are around. Definitely take some time to consider what kind of effect they have on you and your mood.
9. They can’t make you laugh
Seriously. Being able to make each other laugh is always a good sign in a relationship. That isn’t to say they have to be a professional comedian, but if their humor seems rather dry and dull or you feel constantly offended by their humor then you probably are not as compatible as you think. Their jokes should not be hurtful or demeaning to you in any way nor should they make you feel uncomfortable. If they cannot make you laugh without making fun of you, your gender, or your race, then they really are not funny (or a good person) and you should drop them a.s.a.p.
10. They avoid talking about your future together
One of the biggest signs you aren’t compatible with each other is a drastically different level of commitment. Both of you should know what you are looking for before you begin the relationship. It should be clear whether they plan to commit to a long term relationship with you or if you are both okay with being friends with benefits. Chances are if they are avoiding a discussion about their commitment to you then they probably aren’t planning to stick around. Know what kind of relationship you want, and make sure you’re both on the same page.
11. Discussions about your values or politics always lead to an argument
It’s okay for them to disagree, but they should not be disagreeable. They should respect your opinions without belittling you. It is very likely that you won’t be compatible with each other if you don’t have similar values, and they don’t feel the need to respect yours. If the discussion consistently leads to an argument, then your differences probably matter more to them than your relationship.
12. Days can go by without you thinking about them
You don’t have to be thinking about them 24/7, but they should cross your mind from time to time. Being able to forget about them for a few days is most likely a sign that you aren’t as interested in them or as compatible with them as you think. It’s okay to be independent, but continually enjoying time alone probably means that you enjoy the single life more than being in a committed relationship.
13. Spending time with friends is more exciting than being with them
Liking someone does not mean that you have to always be together, but there’s probably a good reason for wanting to spend the majority of your free time with friends. Reflect on what you enjoy about being with your friends. Is your significant other not as fun to be around? Do you feel like your friends understand you better? Whatever the case, be honest and upfront about how you feel.
14. Other people are still catching your interest
You can assume that if you are catching feelings for someone else it’s because you are losing interest or are no longer compatible with your significant other. Think about the type of people that are catching your attention and whether or not you feel that you are lacking that in your current relationship. It’s okay to think someone else is attractive every once in awhile as long as you don’t find yourself actively seeking out attractive people or longing for more than a platonic relationship with others. Be fair to yourself and your current partner. If you are no longer interested, then it’s best not to lead them on.
15. There are some things you don’t want to share with them
In a relationship, you should feel comfortable sharing your feelings and interests with your significant other. When something exciting happens to you, who is the first person you want to tell? Your significant other should be just as interested in what you want to discuss as they want you to be when they share something exciting. They should not make you feel as though they don’t care about what you have to say.