Are you having doubts in your relationship? Are you thinking there’s a chance that your significant other is not the right one for you? 60% of people stay in relationships they don’t find fulfilling because they’re used to it. For the most time, we tend to look through a pair of rose-colored glasses in our relationships. I have compiled some signs that will help you decipher if they are the one you should be with.
1. You have a difference in values
Core values are non-negotiables. Core values are fundamental beliefs, ideals, or practices that conduct your life. Some examples are religious beliefs and political views. If you guys have differing values, you may be prone to more fights. If you both are more understanding of each other’s views, then that is different. Dialogue and being open minded are great in a relationship.
2. They don’t respect you
Respect means absolutely everything in a relationship. Sometimes people will get stuck in a relationship where their significant other physically or emotionally abuses them. At this point, you would want to leave the relationship because it will not get better, contrary to what they might say to you. Some other behaviors of disrespect are nagging, criticism, lying, pressuring, disloyalty and threats to end the relationship. You deserve better than to be treated in any of these ways.
3. You communicate your concerns but nothing changes
Nothing is worse than being stuck in a constant cycle where nothing ever changes whether that be in life, your job, or your relationships. Yes, it is great to be an optimist but don’t wait for your partner to change while they keep making the same mistakes. You can’t expect to change someone. They need to change themselves and you can’t wait for them to do that either. If it is something small they won’t change, consider if they won’t change for the big things either.
4. Your schedules just are not lining up
If you are doing long distance, it is hard to find time to call each other because of different time zones. If you working a 9-5 but your partner is working night shifts, you are on two opposite schedules where it is hard to make time for each other. These types of relationships can work out but it will be difficult. You need trust and communication. If you can’t continue on these paths because you are fighting or don’t like the distance, then it may be time to let the relationship go.
5. You are starting unhealthy habits
Unhealthy habits can be many different things like spending too much money, eating out a lot, unhealthy eating, vaping, and going out too much. If you didn’t do any of these things before, but you started to do one or more of them then you both may have differing lifestyle habits. These problems can be more of an easier fix but if you start up an unhealthy habit to make you and your partner more compatible then this person may not be the right one for you.
6. You are on-again, off-again, on-again, off-gain…
Everyone either knows someone or is someone in an on-again, off-again relationship. Relationship coaches are concerned with these types of relationships because you are training yourself to go back to something that does not work. The most common causes of on-again, off-again relationships are life challenges, incompatibility, uncertainty of what you want, communication issues, and history. This is such a emotionally draining relationship and you deserve to be with someone who will stay with you through thick and thin.
7. You never see your friends or family
At the beginning of any relationship, you enter the “honeymoon stage,” where you want to talk and be with them all the time. This may be a time when you see your friends and family a little less often. Never give up your friends and family for anyone. If anyone tries to push you away from them, then let that be your sign to get out of there. Your match is not supposed to make you leave your whole life behind and give you all the attention. If you are in a healthy relationship, you should not have to change your pre-relationship lifestyle to accommodate to theirs. Also, you should pay attention to see how your friends and family feel about them because they know you best and may see things that you do not see.
8. You just want to stay with them being you are comfortable
Many people decide to stay in a relationship that is not fulfilling because they are comfortable with that person. When you are in a relationship, you are seeing and talking to someone all the time. It is a scary thing to lose. But if you notice that they aren’t helping you achieve growth or don’t fit with who you want to be with, then consider moving on. I mean you weren’t always in a relationship, so you will get used to it overtime. Take the leap and it will be worth it in the end.
9. You overthink what you say all the time
Of course, you want to watch what you say but that doesn’t mean that you should overthink anything and everything that comes out of your mouth. You should feel comfortable to say what you want to say to your partner. If you are with the wrong person, you will find it hard to be your true self. The right person will appreciate who you truly are and will never judge you for it. You know you shouldn’t be with someone as soon as they make you insecure or worse about yourself in any way. Don’t stay in a relationship that makes you emotionally drained.