10 Signs It’s Time To Have The ‘Define The Relationship’ Talk

Is it just me, or does dating seem more complicated nowadays? In the past dating has been known to be clear from the beginning because one person asks out the other, they go on dates, and become a couple or decide to cut it off. Now, dating can mean a whole spectrum of different things. Are you just talking? Messing around together? Hanging out in a romantic way? Do you have an open relationship? Sometimes the nature of your relationship doesn’t get talked about because you like how things are going between you guys without defining it. So the question is, how do you know if it’s time to define the relationship?

Here's how to decide if you need to define the relationship.

1. He’s acting like your relationship is more than you’re thinking it is

Does he seem to be acting like the relationship has progressed further than just a strictly non-defined relationship? If he is taking more steps towards being openly affectionate with your relationship even though you haven’t discussed it yet, then maybe he’s thinking you are more than what you are. It sounds like you need a healthy dose of define the relationship.

2. Feeling uncomfortable with his new display of affection

If he has been acting more openly affectionate with you in public, such as holding your hand or kissing you in front of other people, and you haven’t discussed it yet, it could go one of two ways. It could either be a good sign because you want that too, or it could make you uncomfortable. If you are uncomfortable with this new display of tenderness, then you can’t leave the subject alone. Either way, like I said earlier, you may want to sit down and have a chat about your views on the relationship.

Here's how to decide if you need to define the relationship.

3. He seems to be distancing himself from you

If he is pulling away from you and acting more reserved about your relationship, whether it is in public or by yourselves, then this could be a sign. Now, don’t worry and take this the wrong way if if he’s upset about something else entirely. But you may want to bring up the “what are we” discussion to get a definitive answer. It’s best to know now rather than later!

4. If you’re not sure how to describe what you two have

Have you ever had in-depth discussions about boys with your best friends? Don’t lie, I know you have. If you find yourself excited to talk about your relationship with this new guy or girl to your friends but you can’t quite put what you have into words, then you may want to sit back and think about what that means. If this is bothering you then take your boo and ask the question–-it may not be the worst thing!

Here's how to decide if you need to define the relationship.

5. You’re itching to tell the world you are together but you’re not exactly sure if you are

Telling everyone that you are together can be so exhilarating if that’s where you stand in the relationship. It’s fun to discuss and dwell on all the exciting details. This can be hard to do if you’re not sure if he is in that place yet or not. Talking through things can really help if this is something you are anxious about. If you define the relationship then you actually have something to share with people.

6. Things are about to get long distance

Is everything going great exactly how it is? Are both of you comfortable about where you stand without discussing what you are to each other? This is great! But now your boo has a new job in a different city and you have to decide if you’re going to break whatever this is off, or continue it through the distance. This can be necessary to talk it out if you aren’t sure what kind of commitment you have to one another. This may be a difficult decision because it would be hard to continue it through long distance if both of you are not ready/don’t want to be involved in a full-blown relationship. Leaving it as just “hanging out” won’t cut it when one of you has to drive more than a couple hours every time you want to see them. Now would be the time to see if you are in the same place emotionally. 

7. When people ask about you guys and you’re tired of saying you’re just friends

Is saying the same phrase over and over becoming tiresome? Are the words starting to feel like they have no meaning? If you’re starting to realize you aren’t “just friends” with this special someone and you’re getting tired of telling everyone so, this could mean a talk is in order.

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Here's how to decide if you need to define the relationship.

8. Getting serious

Things are starting to feel a little more serious between you guys but you still haven’t talked about it yet. Things to look out for are meeting the parents, “I love you”s, and if you find yourself leaving all your stuff at his place or he’s leaving all of his stuff at yours. Before you get too down and dirty, consider the need to define the relationship.

9. You worry about texting him too much

Despite if you deal with this or not, it is a pretty common worry amongst girls. Once you’re locked down in a relationship and exchanging “I love you”s  the worry goes down the drain. He’s not going to stop loving you because you send him too many texts. However, if you aren’t sure where you stand, it can be possible that you’re afraid how much you text him might scare him off. If this fear is creeping into your mind, just ask him about it. You relationship may not be as fragile as you may think!

Here's how to decide if you need to define the relationship.

10. Holiday season is right around the corner

Are the holidays coming up? Have you discussed if you’re doing something together? Are you getting each other presents? This can be either very casual or very romantic and it’s up to you which one it’ll be. Chances are he’s wanting to ask you the same thing but isn’t sure how to approach it.

How has your “define the relationship” talk gone? Let us know in the comments!

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