Every person knows that sometimes breaking up with someone you’re in love with isn’t your choice, but for the sake of your futures and living better lives, it happens. Not every break-up ends with the loss of love. Here’s how to know when it may be time to call it quits. These are 6 signs it’s time to break up.
1. You can’t do anything without one another.
While it’s wonderful that you want to spend every free second with your SO, it may be time to reevaluate your life. You had a life before them – have you sacrificed your independence for them? It’s great if you have lots of things in common, but a big relationship No-No is skipping out on plans with friends and family to see them – especially when you already see them more than anybody else.
2. You don’t respect them and they don’t respect you.
Man, sometimes these things are hard to pick up on, but one day you finally see it: they just don’t respect you the way they used to. Sometimes it’s what they say and sometimes it’s their actions. Maybe they don’t encourage you as much anymore in matters of the heart, whether that be school or your career, and that makes you feel a little less than enough for them. Don’t stay down in the dumps! Be your own encourage-er and find friends who will encourage you, too. Don’t stay in toxic relationships where you no longer feel appreciated or wanted.
3. You don’t allow them to see other friends.
If there’s one thing that screams unhealthy relationship, it’s this. Forbidding your SO from seeing other friends that are of the gender they’re interested in is not a good idea. It goes back to the trust issue – if you’re concerned about them seeing anyone of that sex, or any of their friends for that matter, without you, that’s a huge problem. It’s sure to start lots of fights. And if you’d look at that, it all trails back to #1…
4. You’ve broken up and gotten back together.
A lot of the time we think a sure-fire way to smooth out any rough patches in our relationships is to take a break, and too often we end up coming back together quickly, or like Ross from Friends, we end up seeing someone else when we didn’t clarify the boundaries on said “break.” Being someone who tried the whole “break” thing, I wouldn’t recommend this. You asking for a break is generally you looking for a way out. Getting back together after that will most likely lead to the same reasons you wanted out in the first place.
5. You’re constantly annoyed by them or don’t want to be around them much.
Yes, it’s true, at some point, the honeymoon phase ends. And that’s OK! Eventually, their flaws and your flaws will come into play. But that’s not what this is about, so don’t confuse that with these signs it’s time to break up. This is about every time you see them, or they call you, or try to do something nice for you, and you get annoyed about it. They seem clingy, though nothing has changed about their behavior, this is a clear sign that the two of you may no longer be on the same page.
6. You’ve changed – and they haven’t.
The loveliest thing about relationships is that you get to grow and change from them. And when they first begin, you notice both of you changing. The thing about commitments is that you have to continue to grow and change together in order to keep this from getting boring or feel as if they are dragging. This is my biggest tip for you: if it seems like things aren’t lining up anymore, it’s probably because you and your SO are growing at a different rates. Regardless, sometimes it becomes something that no longer has a resolution.
Whatever your situation is, look for these six clues as red flags in your relationships. It’s important to remember that though these are six major issue that you might not notice, these are not the only signs of an unhealthy or toxic relationship. Don’t forget that even if you still love them, continuing the relationship may not be what’s best for either of you. But know this: everything’s going to be just fine.
Do you have any other signs it’s time to break up that you want to share? Leave a comment!
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18 and a freshman at Westminster Choir College of Rider University. Lover of Jesus, coffee, people, and shoes.