If you were trying to look for a synonym for “exam week”, it would be “hell week”. It is also equivalent to falling down a flight of stairs, catching on fire, and getting hit by a school bus. But getting hit by a university shuttle might be a good thing considering the university then pays for your tuition…
1. Crying students
Don’t be alarmed to see a white, blonde girl crying in the Horseshoe. It’s just me. Crying about failing 2 classes. But for real; expect to see crying people in the Thomas Cooper Library, the Horseshoe, possibly Strom, and various other places. We’ll be okay..eventually…once they’re over…
2. “Sorry, I can’t hang out, I’m studying”
Expect to be alone a lot, unless you enjoy studying with friends. Everyone will be cooped up in their dorm or apartment with their nose in a book, a glass of water, and a Vyvanse.
3. Oddly dressed students
College students don’t usually give a shit what they look like or how they’re dressed. But they ESPECIALLY don’t give a shit during exam week. Girls are wearing an XXL Southern Marsh t-shirt with men’s plaid underwear or large grey sweatpants and a USC sweatshirt that hangs to their knees.
4. “It’s fine, I’m fine, everything is fine”
Expect to hear that saying multiple times a day. Nobody really means it, they just try to make themselves feel better considering their lives are currently crumbling down.
5. Lines at Russell are short
People who actually care about their grades and their future are in their rooms or the library studying. Then the other people who want to forget their lives are falling apart are eating. Getting food is fast and there are an abundance of tables to sit at and cry about life.
6. Cranky students
Prepare for endless bitchy looks and students running in front of moving cars. Everyone is angry at the world. Everyone should pretty much walk around wrapped in caution tape warning innocent people.
7. “I should be studying right now”
This line comes up a lot. Mainly in Five Points as drunk girls sip on their vodka lemonades and throw down kamikaze shots. This is also said by me 24/7 as I watch YouTube videos of cute dogs.
8. You have nightmares of getting bad grades
It’s 3 AM. You wake in a puddle of sweat and dried drool with a Biology textbook open on your chest. Then you just dreamed about bombing your Biology exam and now you’re even more stressed. You try to sleep but you can’t. So you begin to study and fall right back asleep just to do it all over again the next night for Calculus.
9. There is no laughter on campus
Exam week means miserable students. Therefore, nobody is laughing and campus is strangely quiet.
10. Nobody has showered in a week
All the girls have their hair in buns or ponytails or they’re super brave and leave their greasy hair flowing in the wind. Everyone has greasy skin and a slight smell of B.O., coffee, alcohol, and misery.
Nevertheless, push through those exams and study your ass of because college is important. If you fail an exam or fail a class, it isn’t the end of the world. Good luck to everyone and try your best.