When I hear someone saying the words, “I give up!”, it’s usually only used in specific situations. Either 1.) they are making a joke and don’t actually mean it, 2.) they are exasperated at trying to make something work and feel like they can no longer accomplish it, or 3.) they feel so defeated that they can say no more than those three words. It’s not easy to give up on something you care about, and I believe that you need to put your best foot forward before you throw in the towel. It’s time to give up on a relationship.
Sometimes situations don’t work out as you’ve planned them to, and sometimes that will make you stronger, but if you didn’t give it your all in the end then later you may wonder what would’ve happened if you tried just a bit harder. Give yourself some closure by doing all that you can, and being able to recognize the signs when it actually is time to give up on a relationship.
1.) Your relationship feels one-sided
Are you the only one putting effort towards the growth of your relationship? If you’re doing all the work without any pushback from your partner, try and confront them about their feelings. If this is a reoccurring issue that your partner still makes no effort to fix, then give up and let it go. Sometimes there is a such thing as putting too much work into a relationship.
2.) They continually don’t support you
Support is a major deal in relationships. It can range from you wanting to try something you never have before and not getting the support you need to not being supported in the most important aspects of your life. The little acts of neglect can add up and end up discouraging you from certain situations if you aren’t careful. Maybe that one time you needed a little extra push to help you do something great and didn’t get it kept you from a great experience. In reoccurrence, it might have you lacking in confidence over making those types of decisions. In the bigger aspect, if you don’t have their support for your career or family, then it may be time to call it quits and give up on a relationship.
3.) Trust issues
If you’ve been dating a long enough time, taking into consideration if they have baggage that comes along with this, to earn their trust and yet they still don’t seem to trust you, there may not be much more you can do. This can also work in vice versa if you don’t feel as if you can trust them, and if they keep giving you reasons not to trust them, then end the suffering. Trust is another major part of a relationship, because without trust, how can you ever have peace?
4.) If you don’t turn to your partner first for emotional distress
Once you feel entirely comfortable with your partner, they should be the first one you turn to when you are in any kind of distress, because they should be the person that makes you feel better, calmer, and stronger. Your emotions should feel most secure in your partner’s hands, and if your first instinct isn’t to take your emotional discomfort to them, then that says something about how you really feel.
5.) You just don’t feel that way for them anymore
There are times when you’ll just know that you don’t want to be in a relationship with them anymore. Maybe it’s early and you realize you don’t like them as much or later you aren’t sure if you’re in the right head space to be giving that much energy into a relationship. You just feel it and know. Trust me when I say it’s better to confront the idea and express it to your girlfriend or boyfriend before it gets harder to do farther on down the line.
6.) Differences in futures
This can be a tough one. Dating can be fun, but overall it is pretty much the prequel to your future, because you date someone who you like to spend time with, right? And then they eventually turn into the person you spend your whole life with if that’s how you see your future. So if you can’t see a future with them, then why would you continue to date them? If you two have clashing views of your future that are starting to come between you, then this may be a heart-breaker to deal with. This usually only applies to something that you or they cannot be swayed on or is coming up soon, such as if they want kids and you do not, or if you want an only traveling job and they want to stay at one location.
7.) C is for cheating
Cheating is always the obvious answer to this question, right? Well you would think so, but there are surprising numbers for how many people keep giving their partner chance after chance after chance. If there is a pattern to their cheating methods, GIVE UP on that relationship. It could maybe be excusable to forgive them if they cheat on you once (Although I am a firm believer that there is no good excuse for cheating, because if they really loved you they wouldn’t stray, they would try to make it work, or if they wanted someone else, they would leave the relationship before doing that damage to you). However, if you choose to give your partner a second, third, or even fourth chance, and they keep cheating on you then this is not a relationship you should stay in. The more you say, “This is the last time,” means you should face the facts that it’ll keep happening.
8.) You feel you need to change parts about you to appease them
If you don’t feel like you 100% of the time when you’re around your partner, something’s wrong. It should never feel okay to change parts of yourself to make the other happy. Either be you, even if your partner thinks some of your quirks are strange, or maybe you aren’t the right match for each other. If anything, your partner should make you feel like a better and stronger person with them by your side. There is nothing worse than being in a relationship where you can’t be yourself. Never compromise your personality, beliefs, goals, or happiness to make the relationship work. This is one of the big signs it’s time to give up on a relationship.
9.) You don’t feel like a priority
It’s always really nice to hear if your partner would rather be hanging out with you than doing something else because it’s great to know you’re one of their priorities. Even if this doesn’t happen all the time, it counts when your partner tries to make the effort. It’s when they blatantly do not make the effort to show you what you mean to them that you lose this feeling, or realize you never had that feeling in the first place. If you feel the relationship is taking away your confidence or you can’t speak your mind, and you’ve given it a shot to fix it, then maybe it’s time to give up on a relationship.
10.) You’re happier when you’re not around them
This is clearly a sign to give up on a relationship – you’re supposed to be happier when you are around them! If you don’t love spending time with them, sharing your secrets and darkest fears with them, or experiencing different parts of life together, then choose to be happy and say goodbye. It’ll be harder to do the longer you wait.