Most of us have probably fallen for someone we knew was a bad boy, or have watched our friends repeatedly get hurt because of these “bad boys”. Why are we so likely to choose someone we know isn’t the best suitor? I’ve done some research and come up with the most common reasons women fall for the wrong guys. Hopefully, this will help you steer clear of Mr. Wrong and be that much closer to Mr. Right.
1. Sex appeal
Men who fall under the bad boy category tend to possess certain qualities women find attractive. Specifically, their stubbornness, high confidence and risk-taking creates a sex appeal drawing women in.
It could be that you follow suite with what women have needed in the past. That being a man who wears the pants in the relationship, is commanding, and can protect your children. Powerful doesn’t always mean healthy. Ladies, it’s 2018, if he can’t get his own beer from the fridge and poor you a glass of wine while he’s at it, you don’t need him.
3. We want what we can’t have
When something is out of reach, we tend to want it more. Bad boys come off as too good, or will play hard to get, intriguing women. We’ll often realize though that the chase was more fun than the prize.
4. They seem more “real”
When we picture Mr. Right, he sometimes seems to good to be true. So instead women choose a man who is attainable, and often that isn’t the right fit for them or their needs.
Testosterone levels contribute to what women can find attractive. Higher levels of testosterone have been found in powerful men and linked to higher sex-drive. However, it also means more aggression and self-focused tendencies.
6. It can be fun
We don’t always realize what it is we need in a relationship and settle for the short-term benefits. You can definitely get some fun stories when you date a bad boy, but that doesn’t mean it’s worth it.
7. They’re charming
Bad boys are charming. We are immediately drawn into their charade, and can’t help but feel special if they give us attention. If we didn’t dig bad boys, every good tv show wouldn’t have one. Think Damon Salvatore. I mean, enough said.
8. Low self-esteem
This is huge. I have watched many close friends date assholes because they don’t realize they deserve better. With body image issues and low self-esteem so prevalent among women, they don’t believe they deserve someone who supports them and gives them what they need.
9. We settle
Women are afraid of being alone. Instead of taking the time alone, improving yourself and deciding what you want, women will settle for bad boys out of fear. Ladies, there is nothing wrong with being alone if it means you don’t have to put up with a jerk.
10. We think we can change people
When starting off, even if you notice some red flags, people seem to convince themselves that their partner can change. If there is one thing I have learned from relationships is that the only person who can prompt change is ourselves. If there are things that you can’t deal with about this person, don’t expect them to change for you. They have to do it for themselves.
11. You ignore the warnings
It’s easy to fall for someone if you’re not paying attention to any of the red flags. Women let themselves become involved with bad boys because they ignore the warning signs and deny the negative aspects of their relationship.
12. Lack of confidence
Confidence and self-esteem are different. If we lack confidence, it affects how we behave in different situations. For example, if you’ve been drawn into a relationship, low self-worth and confidence means you are less likely to have the ability to leave it, or better your situation.
13. They have attractive personality traits
Women fall for the creative, typically handsome, and strong personalities. These are often prominent in bad boys. It is easy to fall for someone if they look like Chris Hemsworth. Just try and remember what you need out of a relationship long-term and not what feels good.
Your childhood can play a role in what you look for in a suitor. Any behavioural issues, the type of relationship you grew up seeing, or how you were treated by the opposite sex parent often means you will look for this in a partner.
15. You don’t know what you want
Get your priorities straight, figure out what you want and break old relationship habits. If you keep finding the same problems in your relationships, try and find something new in a partner, not what you usually go for.
Long story short, there are so many reasons we fall for the bad boys. We are immediately drawn in by their charm and sex appeal. Just don’t forget that there are some really amazing men out there waiting for Mrs. Right and that you DO deserve them.