I have a multiverse of friends groups, I have my friends who are getting married, and my friends who are having babies, then I have my friends pushing 30 who are still going to punk shows dating goth girls with big tits. Which is all okay, but as a recent graduate of college, who is now officially in my mid 20s, I have to say seeing how the dating scene changes the older I get is making me nostalgic for my early 20s dating life. People always complain that dating is hard, and how being alone sucks, but trust me it just gets harder, so enjoy this time while you can because it goes by quick. Also people like that need to learn to love themselves or nobody will, or just shut up, and drink over the pain like an adult. Anyway sad girls are so 2013, so here are my 10 reasons why dating in your early 20s is the best!!
1. The Dates Are Pressure Free
Before writing this article I Googled reasons why dating in your early 20s is the best because I assumed others felt the same as I do. So you could imagine my confusion mixed with a touch of sadness for members of the lonely heart club everywhere when article after article read “reasons why dating in your 20s is the worst,” or “why dating in your 20s sucks”- which I was like honey if you feel that way then you’re not doing it right, because I’ve had the best time dating in my 20s. Having a handful of “the ones,” and going on countless of dates has been a literal blast, and before you call me a classic Libra city bicycle slut. First I like to say rude, and second that is not the case. When you’re in your early 20s you still have your whole life ahead of you, so you should be taking this time to focus on yourself, your career, and figuring out who you are, while going on as many dates as possible. One of the best parts of dating in your early 20s is there is no pressure to be had on said dates for this very reason. The only pressure you should feel on dates in your early 20s is to have a good time, and enjoy yourself. And if you don’t meet the love of your life in your early 20s its okay… because you still have time to wise up and get a sugar daddy.
2. There Are No Strings Attached
Another reason dating in your early 20s is the best is because it is an opportunity to meet someone with no strings attached. I believe you can find love at any age, but your early 20s is really the time you can casually date without any external pressures. Most people in their early 20s aren’t looking to settle down yet or have a kid, so this is your time to have a body count like the grim reaper.
3. Free Food
I know it’s 2020 so make it equality, but a good rule of thumb is the person who does the asking should do the paying. At least that is my personal belief, not because it makes you less of a feminist, but because it’s the polite thing for the person asking you out to do. Like if you’re going to ask me to take time out of my busy day of looking at Tik Tok, and daydreaming about Pete Davidson, to go out with you, then you should at the very least be paying for my food.
Just try not to get too crazy because you don’t want to bankrupt the poor soul asking you out. Because if they’re anything like me, who can’t even get a diet coke with my meal for fear of over drafting- never mind, if that is the case then this person has no business asking anyone out. It’s like I told my friend the other day, who just got out of a bad break up. He asked me when I thought it was a good time for him to start dating again, and I said when you at least have a 600 credit score. Why I’m always the ask out-e, not the asker. In conclusion be courteous, but remember this is your time to fucking indulge on someone else’s dollar, which only ever happens when my parents are in town. So don’t be afraid to get a meal, two cocktails, an app., and offer to split a dessert. Which is cute, unless you’re like me who is a hungry hippo. In my defense I do warn my dates if they want some desert they better eat it fast, or there will be none left for them.
4. Managing Your Expectations
This is more advice, but in my un humble opinion it’s good so listen up. Another trick to having a good time dating in your early 20s is manage your expectations, people suck, and people don’t suck, but no one sucks as much as our current president- and although dating is fun, it can sometimes be hard, especially if you continuously find yourself in dead end relationships. But always try to remain positive like I said this is your early 20s which means you’re practically an adult child. This is also easier to do when you manage your expectations, which you can master if you have a healthy amount of self respect, and can set strong boundaries in your daily life.
Even if it doesn’t work out with someone I really like, I just key their car- psych! Maybe… Like I said, even if it doesn’t work out with someone I like, I look at the experience as a golden opportunity to learn, and grow as a person. When I was a teenager, I used to get so annoyed at my mom for saying this, she would always say “dating is all about timing, and when the timing is right make sure to find someone who loves you a little more than you love them.” She would say this, and the young twat I was, would get so mad, and say “that’s so stupid mom, true love conquers all, and I want to find someone who we love each other equally!” Turns out rom-coms are a scam, and my mom was right. PSA your mom was, and is always right, so drop the teen angst and just listen to her. The older you get the more you’ll understand the whole timing thing, and finding someone who loves you a little more than you love them. Like it doesn’t mean finding a simp, even though I don’t know why my guy friends use that label as a negative thing, a guy who would do anything for me, sign me up, literally where is my simp.
5. Casual but SAFE Sex
Okay people if it wasn’t for having three serious boyfriends in my life, I know so Mamma Mia! Of me, I would have never experience the best D in my life, and no lie, good sex can change your whole out look on life for the better. Not only has good sex made me a better person, but more confident, and dating so much easier. Because once you have great sex there is no going back, so you have no time for fuck boys anymore who can’t even make you cum. I now finally understand why Samantha from Sex and the City was all bent out of shape over her boyfriend’s small penis..
With that being said just make sure you’re always using protection and being smart guys- like come on using protection is sexy because that just screams I’m smart, and don’t have a dirty dick. Also guys just so were all aware if someone takes you out that doesn’t mean you owe them shit. In fact I’m here to tell you, you should never feel obligated to sleep with someone just because they took you on a date, even if they took you in a helicopter to a restaurant on a mountaintop a la The Bachelor, that’s on them. Just thank them for the good, or bad time, and move on.
But try not to ghost anyone in the process, unless they are like Hannibal Lecter, because people who ghost should be dragged through the streets, or at least on the internet. We’re all by definition adults here, and people have enough trauma as it is without being ghosted so like I said just thank them for the date, and move on.
Dating is so fun! Like seriously what is more fun than dressing up, and experiencing the world, especially when someone else is fronting the bill. Even when the date is bad, the date is fun. If you don’t understand what I’m saying I have two stories to clarify my point. Some of the dates I have gone on have included a date at the batting range, jet skiing (can u say Hitch vibes you guys,) but the best one by far was the date to frickin New Orleans for the weekend. You read that right TBH that guy kind of shit all over my heart, but not before I took him for every penny he is worth during that trip. Like literally all I paid for was two water bottles in the gas station on the drive down there, and though yes it didn’t work out, and I have some low key trauma from that relationship, I say so worth it for that weekend because honestly it was one of the most fun weekends of life.
Story two, like seriously you guys, one the best dates I have ever been on was with the worst guy like he just sucked, he was a film major at my art school, so of course he was so pretentious, and thought he be like the next Stanley Kubrick, and I was all like alright dude have fun shooting weddings. Anyway I went out with this dude and at dinner he we all like I HATE Will Ferrell, and I was all like omg chill, who has that strong of opinion about Will Ferrell let alone hate. Anyway the story has a happy ending because we went to one of my favorite restaurants in town to eat, then after dinner we went to a show where an amazing local band was performing, so I just got drunk at dinner and then raged my face off, it was so much fun! Then I invited my date over after the show, and he was like totally I’ll come over. Little did he know I already invited a few of my gay guy friends to come over, and when I suggested we play spin the bottle, he got all mad and was like I don’t feel comfortable kissing a guy, and left, and I was like see ya! It was truly the perfect end to the perfect night.
7. There Are So Many Cute People Out There Why
Let me put it this way, dating in your 20s is kind of like that Young Money song, EveryGirl In The World. Like when Lil Wayne says I just want to f**k every girl in the world, I understand that on like a spiritual level. And in your early 20s is the time to do that because it is either now or never, because you don’t want to end up the creepy 50 year old bachelor (cough cough Whitney and Thomas from Southern Charm, and this is a warning to you Shep because you’re getting there) who is drunk every family Christmas and gives out gift shop ash trays as gifts only because they were laying around your apartment.
8. Great Tea For Your Friends
There is a reason so many people love Sex and The City, and why the show has made an ever lasting mark in pop culture, and continues to find a fan base amongst young women despite the #metoo movement- don’t overthink the show, just watch it, and enjoy the four ladies sexy antics like I’m a proud problematic Mr. Big fan for life. Seriously though, relationships, and sex make the best tea, and trust me when I say this is the time to spill it with your besties, because when you’re married nobody wants to hear about your sex life, and if a married person talks about their sex life its hella creepy. Like save that shit for couples counseling. Unless a married person is not having sex anymore because then I want to hear all about that, that is some real married adult tea.
9. It Leads You Closer To Your Soul Mate
I may project the image of a stone cold fox to the world, but I am truly a romantic at heart. Who believes dating is the first step to finding your soul mate. But that is the best part about dating in your 20s, you may not form a deep emotional connection with every person you go out with, but you meet people along the way who have a profound effect on your life, and will always hold a special place in your heart. So I thank the universe for these people because even the ones who made me cry, made me who I am today… a raging alcoholic, I mean power bitch.
10. Reason #1-9
Despite all these stellar reasons I gave you about why dating in your 20s is the best, but you still hate not being in a serious relationship, I recommend getting a dog. Because if you are a terrible codependent like myself, a dog will do wonders for you. TBH I thought I turned into a strong independent woman since one day I just no longer missed my exes. Like I used to have wine for dinner and call them- yeah don’t be that girl, but I can say that because that’s who I was, not who I am. Anyway I got a dog, and suddenly became a bad bitch, just to realize I am now a total codependent with my dog, but it’s cool because we like to snuggle, while I guzzle wine, and watch Wife Swap reruns. Which is always the perfect end to the perfect night.
writer, filmmaker, and hipster overlord