Okay let’s be honest here, when taking into account the minimal period of time with above freezing weather and the excessive amount of police presence at UNH, there really isn’t that much room for adventure when choosing where to hook up with someone. But if you’re looking for a hot new spot, take a look at this list of the places to hook up at UNH, rankings included!
Christensen and Williamson Halls
Okay, I think this one should be pretty obvious. Unless you’re a freshman who lives here, no one wants to be seen doing the walk of shame anywhere near this vicinity. Sorry freshmen, but you’ll understand exactly what I mean next year.
Stoke’s central location offers a speedy escape back to wherever you actually live on campus, but it’s still definitely not the best place to hook up at UNH. Considering you’ll still be stuck on a rickety twin or bunk bed surrounded by thin walls in a cramped double or triple, the short walk of shame really isn’t that big of a perk for Stoke.
Now we can start to see the advantages of possibly having your own room and bathroom. However, regardless if your hookup has his or her own room, you’re still going to be stuck on a twin bed with minimal room for activities and snuggles. Plus, there’s no kitchen so how are you going to convince your host to bring you breakfast in bed?!
No place is perfect, but this is pretty darn close. Madbury Commons gives you the luxury of your own room, a bigger bed, and air conditioning. It’s the best spot to get freaky in the sheets and not have to worry about anyone hearing you besides your housemates. Plus, its location is also perfect for an easy walk of shame in almost any direction with minimal chance of being seen. An even bigger advantage is that you can be almost certain whoever you’ve hooked up with is not a freshman!
Maybe you’ll luck out and get your own room to hook up in, but most likely not. All in all, the gamble isn’t really worth it. If you’ve ever been in a fraternity at UNH, then you’ll probably readily agree that the conditions aren’t too much better than a dorm for late night sex. Even worse is the walk home in the morning. You’ll most likely run into multiple brothers as you leave and then you’ll have to brave the walk down either Strafford Ave or Madbury as those passing by can easily assume the obvious. If you’re looking for subtlety than any Greek house is not the best place to hook up at UNH.
Main Street Apartments
Now these apartments are just as comfortable and spacious as MadCommons, but their location offers a slightly more public walk of shame. Specifically, who really wants to walk past Scorps and Libby’s early in the morning? I know I wouldn’t be too keen on it.
The Gables, The Cottages, & The Lodges
Not nearly the worst on-campus housing option to hook up at, but who really wants to make a hike all the way over past the Whitt when the buses stop working after 12 or aren’t even going there on the weekends to begin with? If there’s a better, more central place to go to, then I’d highly recommend there instead. Your walk home from here will most definitely be a LONG one. However, if you have a ride then by all means take advantage of the luxurious space and seclusion these places offer. You’re sure to not be disappointed…. at least with your location. Your hook-up might be another story.