Everyone knows that for so many situations in life, confidence is key. The issue is, confidence isn’t always…easy. Everyone also has their own insecurities; their own fears and doubts, which makes being confident, even in your own company, a whole lot harder. But don’t worry, we’ve got seven steps that will help you a long way towards feeling more confident every day!
1. Surround yourself with people who make you feel good
There’s enough negativity in the world without having to put up with negative people too- so don’t! The first place to build your confidence is at home and with friends, but you can’t do that if the people you socialize with make you feel bad about yourself. If you surround yourself with negative people who put you down, people you feel like you have to impress, your confidence will plummet, rather than improve. Instead, spend your spare time with people who value you, people who make you feel integral to the group and to the conversation. Your confidence will only increase if you build yourself a safe space in which you feel that you truly belong.
2. Wear what you want to wear
When it comes to clothes, it’s important that you wear what you feel comfortable in, but also, that you where what you want to wear, outfits that are in tune with your style and your personality. You don’t want to spend your whole life thinking: “I wish I was confident enough to wear that”. It can be nerve-wracking to express yourself in such an overt way, but in order to be confident, you must believe that everything about your personality is beautiful, so every method you use to express yourself, is a reflection of that beauty too.
3. Smile like you mean it
Brandon Flowers is obviously always right, but in this especially. It sounds cliche, but there is nothing more beautifying than a smile, and it’s such an easy thing to do. In being such a naturally open gesture, smiling in itself encourages interaction from others, whether through a return smile, or a greeting. Therefore, in appearing so open to interaction, people take smiling as a mark of confidence, regardless of whether the person who smiles actually feels confident or not. It works both ways, too: you smile when you’re happy, but smiling even when you’re not happy has the reverse effect, and can boost your mood. In that way, smiling is a constant cycle of beauty, happiness, and confidence, if only you push yourself to do it.
4. There’s a time and a place
Try and limit any negative thoughts you have about yourself while in social situations. You can’t deal with them at the time, so if you try to address them, you will become merely become stressed due to the insufficient amount of time and space you have to deal with them, and if you push them away immediately, they are more likely to mount up and overwhelm you. Instead, accept the presence of negative thoughts, acknowledge that you will address them when you do have time, and then push them out of your mind. When you get home, write out any negative thoughts that you have had throughout the day, and think about ways in which you can combat them. For example, if you feel like you never have anything to say in conversation, think of things you’re interested in- when you’re passionate, you’re confident. In this way, the negative thoughts you have about yourself that tend to decrease your confidence in situations will become easier to deal with, as you will become more accustomed to dealing with them in the appropriate way.
5. Write a list of things you like about yourself
If you’re going to write a list of the negative thoughts that you have about yourself, there’s no reason at all not to write a list of things you do like about yourself. Give yourself time to scribble down what you wouldn’t change, things you’re good at, people who care about and value you. You’ll find that the list of reasons you have to be confident is much longer than you expect.
6. Self-confidence is key
Be confident in yourself- you need to have your own back if you want anyone else to. Using the tips above, get to know yourself. Learn what you need to improve and avoid, what you want to accentuate about yourself. The more that you prove to yourself that you are confidence-worthy, the more protective you will become over yourself. It’s so important to realize that you are worth sticking up for, and you are worth showing off too, because in the end, you are completely in control of your confidence levels, and with a solid foundation of self-love, you are fully capable of improving them.
7. Always remember that your harshest critic- is you
No one ever judges you as much as you do. It’s true. Remember that time that you tripped over in the gym? Or spilled a coffee in the library? Or said something really cringey? And then you ruminated about it for hours after, maybe even days. Half the people who witnessed those things didn’t even know who you were. And as soon as you left the room the other half thought no more about it. If you want to be more confident, try to see your mistakes as they are through other people’s eyes: inconsequential, and utterly insignificant in comparison to the positives. Not to mention that even the most judgey people are less likely to judge if you just laugh your mistakes off- they can’t laugh at you if you start laughing first.