Nerds need to set the move too. If your idea of the ideal date night includes board games somewhere during the night, here are 10 great ones that will guarantee love will be in the air.
Isn’t it kind of a wonder that the Milton Bradley Company was able to market a game to kids that was basically a glorified orgy? Yeah, some might accuse it of being “sex in a box”, and I’m not exactly able to argue against that. The whole point is to rub up against your fellow players, and it was probably the first time most of us got to actually touch another human being in some kind of weird, perverse way, so maybe Twister really is a gateway to sexual awakening. Either way, as an adult, it hasn’t lost any of its carnal fun. The perfect accompaniment to a bottle of wine, limber up for a long night by rummaging through your closet and pulling out this childhood favorite.
5 Second Rule
The tagline on the box is literally “Just Spit it Out!” As far as board games go, 5 Second Rule has a basic concept: you have five seconds to name three examples of any topic, ranging from the simplest ones like “Name three dog breeds” to the more opinion-based and esoteric, like “Name three things that annoy you at work.” This alone probably won’t set the mood, but once you start to customize the concept to your own liking, the possibilities start to open up. Some packs allow custom cards, but it’s incredibly easy to just write a few ideas down, like “Name three positions we’ll try tonight”, if you don’t have the materials. It’s all about the quick responses that’ll get your heart rate pumping, turning your thinking brain off and turning your uncontrollable id on.
Jackbox Party Packs aren’t technically board games: they’re the virtual equivalent of party games and updated versions of physical favorites. Trivia Murder Party is an exciting extension of Trivial Persuit, Drawful takes Pictionary and adds a solid amount of absurdity, and Fakin’ It is Never Have I Ever where sometimes you’re just going to have to lie. Bomb Corp is probably the least sexy of all the games: it takes place in an office setting, has very dry and sometimes morbid humor, and involves figuring out puzzles to diffuse a bomb. The major pull for a date night, though, is that it requires a large amount of communication. What starts off slowly starts to build as the bombs keep piling up, requiring you and your partner to know each other inside and out. The tension keeps ramping up until you’re just about ready to explode.
Drawing Without Dignity
Adult themed card games seemed to get a major boost when Cards Against Humanity quite improbably became a worldwide sensation in the early days of the 2010s. Less focused on politically incorrect edginess and more on blush-inducing goofiness, Drawing Without Dignity is like if Cards Against Humanity, Pictionary, and too many bottles of wine were combined. The concept is simple enough: get a car with a phrase on it, and try and draw it for your partner. The topics that are the basis for the drawings from sublimely silly terms like “Nut Huggers” and “Baby Batter” to the more explicit material like “snowballing” and “anal beads”. Artistic skills not required, although it’s up to you how erotic, and explicit, you get with you drawings.
Telestrations: After Dark
Another drawing game, Telestrations: After Dark is like if there were board games at the swingers party. You get a phrase and draw it to the best of your ability. From there, you’re constantly passing around your “masterpiece” drawings for others to guess and subsequently attempt to draw as well. Less like another ripoff of Pictionary and more like an X-rated version of Telephone, the After Dark version of the game goes away with the more mature aspects of the regular game and insteads ups the amount of suggestiveness to increasingly higher and higher levels. The real high point is seeing how perverse and off-base your fellow perverts get in trying to recreate your original drawing. Drinks highly recommended.
Do or Drink
Speaking of drinking, maybe the high concept creativity of the previous games isn’t your cup of whiskey. If your perfect foreplay involves getting incredibly shitfaced, Do or Drink has you covered. The most destructive of all the board games on this list to your physical body and reputation, you’ll need lots of alcohol and very few inhibitions to play this game. With prompts like “Give the person to your left a lap dance” and “Call your ex and tell them you want to get back together”, where the punishment for not doing as your told involves shots and drinks, the trail of bad decisions you leave in your path by the time you stop playing will ultimately lead to puking, passing out, or passionate love making. Or maybe all three. Whatever ends up happening, it’ll be an eventful night if you pull out Do or Drink.
Some board games have terribly clever names based on puns or cultural references. And then some are just accurate descriptions of what you’ll be playing. Dirty Charades leaves nothing to the imagination. The box explicitly warns against playing this with your parents, family, or anyone else who might be prudish or might incite an awkward situation when you try to act out “Doggystyle” in front of (or possibly with) them. Physicality is the key to winning, which means you’ll most likely be bearing it all at certain times, whether or not any clothes actually end up coming off or not. All I’m saying is: it won’t hurt your chances at victory. Loosen up and prepare to get judged by however you might end up “Getting out of a speeding ticket.”
Of all the games on this list, this is the one that might seem the furthest from anything sensual. The game doesn’t allow you to bend the rules to make it more sexual. There’s no way to turn it into an erotic wrestling match. You can’t turn anyone on with your surprisingly anatomically correct drawings. So why play this to set the mood? Well, it’s all in the way that you conveniently end up screwing your opponent, turning to them with smug superiority, and slowly drawl the game’s titular phrase: “sorry…”. When it comes at the right time, imparted with just the right amount of sexual tension, the atmosphere in the room can grow hot and heavy in a second. You know how in every TV show ever there are the two characters who are at each other’s throats until it finally explodes in sexual pleasure? Sorry is so competitive that it can easily inspire similar feelings.
Our Moments: Couples
Couples therapy in a box. If you’re stuck in a rut with your partner, or just want some more intimacy without diving headfirst into the ridiculous explicit board games (see the next entry), Our Moments: Couples is the PG game meant to encourage open communication. Less of a horny fuckfest and more of a “tell me how you feel about ___” kind of game, Our Moments comes in a variety of styles, ranging from Family packs to Kids versions. It’s meant to be “thought provoking”, and it’s a welcome respite if some of the more erotically charged games on this list might scare you off.
About as subtle as a sudden discharge to the face, Let’s F*ck is the adult board game to end all adult board games. While other 18+ games like XXXopoly or Monogamy try to frame sexual acts around some basic rules and content, Let’s F*ck does away with most of the pretense of a traditional board games. Just spin the spinner, land on a space, and do whatever the space indicates, which includes kissing, talking dirty, losing layers of clothing, and whipping. Basically an attempt to monetize foreplay, the goal of the game is to build up towards, you guessed it, having sex. That’s how you win the game. I guess there’s some universe where you either get confused by the rules or fight over the outcome and don’t end up doing the deed, but if that’s the case, you’ll be thinking way too much. No thinking, no cheeky framing devices, and no complications: if you’re already horny and just want to get into bed as quickly as possible, but for some reason want a 15 minute stopover, go ahead and break out Let’s F*ck.