Syracuse University is consistently ranked as one of the top party schools in the United States. From slushy tailgates in frigid temperatures to pitchers of Redbull Vodka concoctions, every Cuse student has made at least a few decidedly terrible decisions.
1. Ordering drunk Calios and falling asleep before it arrives.
You already made it back to Watson hall and there’s no way you’re headed back to Marshall Street. A buffalo chicken calzone is calling your name and seems like a worthwhile investment. You wake up to the sound of dump trucks at 5:00 a.m and four missed calls from Calios.
2. Going to the jersey party freshman year.
A DIY sweat lodge in a fraternity is not as appealing as it may sound. The amount of bodily fluids become an atmospheric steam, and you’re sure to be bathed in Natty Light at least 10 times. Your hair is stuck on your forehead and you see way more shirtless men with chest hair than you ever thought possible.
3. Going to the I’m Shmacked event.
I wasn’t fool enough to attend, but if you did you’ll be roasted by the entire university for the next four years. A glimpse of your earlobe in one Im Shmacked video is not going to make you famous, sorry Jennifer.
4. Bringing a purse to Dj’s.
You’ll either be robbed or lose everything you’ve ever owned. Might be hard to explain to your mom why you need to get a new drivers license in addition to that $20 dollar charge from a pitcher of alcohol. Ah, sweet sweet freedom.
5. Wearing heels to the bars.
The combination of ice and spilled alcohol makes for a great way to twist/break your ankles. You’ll go down in everybody’s book as a try hard and will tower over all the five feet tall boys from New Jersey.
6. Slapping the bag.
A great way to contract a variety of illnesses. The few and fortunate actually got the mumps, and we can’t be sure it wasn’t from chugging Franzia out of the bag. A frat bro who is too scared to actually converse with you will waggle the wine in your face until you concede. I guess that’s one way to flirt?
7. Blacking out at Mayfest or Juice Jam.
You’ll see everybody you’ve ever known and likely to embarrass yourself in creative and disgusting ways. Not only that, but you will probably miss Travis Scott and wake up at 9 p.m with the worst hangover of your adolescent life. How many free corn dogs did I consume?
8. Going to East Adams tailgates too late.
As you scroll through the millions of Snapchat stories, you pray that the police haven’t busted down the tailgate before you can stunt your fresh new Cuse outfit. When you arrive, the only thing left in the homeland of all parking lots is shattered Andre bottles and a few belligerent bros that refuse to turn down.
9. Walking through Walnut Park at night (pre-sidewalk era).
You’ll break every bone in your body trying to climb over tree branches and two feet of accumulated snow. Hopefully you’re drunk enough to not feel the frostbite, but the next morning you can be sure you’ll have a few fresh bruises.
10. Ordering Starbucks on Marshall Street 10 minutes before class.
The caffeine fix is halfway worth it, but busting it to Falk and sweating under your down jacket all for a venti latte with a pump of hazelnut was probably not your smartest decision.