I think as humans, all of us will always be striving to become something better or do something better. We’re constantly looking to “level up”. I can’t tell you how many times I have sat in my bed telling myself that when I look a certain way or make it to my dream job I’ll be happy with my life. Unfortunately, the mindset that your external circumstances will directly impact your inner happiness is far off from the truth. A friend of mine once got a nose job and felt incredible afterwards. Later, during a conversation we had about that nose job, she said that although she was happy with her new nose, she wasn’t feeling as fulfilled inside as she had hoped. Point of the story, there is no foolproof way to become the woman you aspire to be but I have come up with some ways to channel the version of yourself you want to be in your day to day life.
How You Speak To Yourself
I can’t speak on behalf of the rest of you but, personally, the bad b*itch that I aspire to never talk down on herself. She knows who she is and what she has to offer and shows up with that mindset wherever she goes. So, notice how you speak to yourself on a day to day basis and try to call yourself out when you think or say anything less than incredible about yourself. Your mind is the house you live in, so work to control the thoughts you let flow in and out of there and you will find yourself way more confident and empowered. Remember, the bad B*tch in you wouldn’t settle for anyone underestimating them especially not yourself.
How You Treat Others
One of the things I admire most about people I meet is the way they speak about others. There is something so sexy and beautiful about someone who feels no need to put anyone else down. I don’t think I’ve ever met someone who thinks hearing someone else talk down on another person is attractive. So, stop and pause before you speak about other people. The queen version of yourself will be someone who is confident enough in her own life and relationships that she doesn’t have to do that. Save yourself the trouble and start working on creating those habit changes now.
Have you ever caught yourself saying, “when I’m older I’ll start working out everyday.” or, “When I’m more successful I’ll make more time to spend with my family.”? Those are two statements that show your interest in a priority shift. Here’s the thing, those things will never become priorities one random morning when you wake up. You need to start taking steps to make them part of your routine now. Family and Fitness tend to take backburner for most people when career and finances are the focus but which of those will make you happier? I would bet it’s time with your family and focusing on your health.
What does that bad bleep inside of you want to do with the rest of her life? Are you doing it now? Or working towards it now? What can you do to bring you closer to be in the position you need to be to make this dream career yours. Our jobs are about much more than how much money we make on a day to day basis. Our careers often end up defining a lot of our adult lives and impacting who we grow into. Think about it, you spend 40 or so hours per week doing this job, if you don’t love what you do, that will lead to a pretty mundane miserable working year until retirement. Forget money for a second, ask yourself what you’d want to do with your life if money didn’t matter. Now, go make that happen. Money can follow where you lead, and it will if you focus on it but your happiness in life isn’t as readily available.
If you choose to be in a relationship, make sure your relationship is bringing out the best in you. So often a relationship we involve ourselves in at a young age can create toxic behaviors for us in the future. The more you are aware of your relationship and how you and your partner impact each other, the more likely you are to grow into healthy relationship habits. Who you become when you’re in a relationship says a lot about who you are as a person, too. Make sure you settle for nothing less than a big love that brings out the best in both of you. Love is messy and complicated but beautiful and life changing in most cases. So, go out and look for that little big love.
Like I said earlier, there is no foolproof plan for how to become the best version of yourself. All there are is a bunch of small habits you can bring into your life to focus on the development of the bad b*tch inside of you. Spend time in your days noticing traits you love and don’t love about yourself so you know what you want to carry with you in the long haul and what you don’t. We are all always going to be striving for something more, something better, or bigger, or brighter than what we already are but it’s important to remember to enjoy the journey of getting where you want to be too. Your whole life is a series of moments that will change you for the better, so open your eyes, enjoy them and notice them, and remember that the woman you want to be is already inside of you. Comment down below if you have any other tips for how to embrace the woman you dream of becoming and let me know if you try out any of these tips.
Jenna Summer is twenty-something spending her days exploring New York City and chasing her dreams. As a recent graduate from The American Musical & Dramatic Academy, Jenna has been spending her time in the city itching to perform. She has performed Stand Up Comedy at many comedy clubs around the city as well as performing in sketch shows and cabarets with Upright Citizens Brigade and Others. During her time in school, she also fell in love with writing. Her goal is to be able to use her voice to inspire, entertain, and make people laugh.