Polyamory seems to be on the rise in the world, and this has different reactions from many people. Most support the decision, living by the ‘it’s their body, their life, their choice’ motto, others have more negative things to say.
But the purpose of this article is not to slander the choice, far from it. We are asking the questions that will have you asking yourself if this is the sort of relationship you would want for yourself. Polyamory may be on the rise, but that because people have that choice now to make freely. So by the end of the article, see if it is a choice you are wanting to make as well.
1. What Is A Polyamorous Relationship?
Simply put, a polyamorous relationship is one where both parties are not limited to one partner, the main part being that all parties are aware of the actions that are taking place. This is not, like many like to believe, consensual cheating; it is a relationship where love is shared and expressed between more than two people.
There are common misconceptions between an open relationship and a polyamorous relationship as well, an open relationship is more focused on the sexual side to the relationship. Whereas polyamory is more about building a connection between the parties involved, which allows for families to be built around a ‘throuple’. A successful case of this will be discussed later.
Polyamorous relationships have been aired on TV often, even appearing on Friends where Chandler started courting Aurora who turns out to also have a husband and multiple boyfriends. Chandler was of not course happy with this wanting her all to himself in a monogamous relationship, but that lifestyle simply doesn’t fit with some people. Polyamory is the way for some.
2. Is It Popular?
A statistic that I just watched on an interview by Philip Scofield and Holly Willoughby on polyamorous relationships said the statistic of those who would be willing to join a relationship of this type fell around 13% at yes, 87% no. Which would have you believe it isn’t that popular.
However with the ever changing sexuality scene nowadays we have more and more couples becoming more comfortable with sharing their partners with others. They aren’t doing this solely to explore with their own partners or they want to be in a more frivolous type of relationship, they actually find that their relationship works better this way.
3. What Is It Like To Be In One?
Whilst in a polyamorous relationship you and your partner are free to court others whilst still being committed to each other. Some couples will even have a third party that will be the boyfriend/girlfriend to both of the parties involved.
Being in this kind of relationship will actually give you more freedom and an ability to relax about a lot of things; there is no need to hide any secret messages, and no need to worry about the types of friends you make. And there’s no need to constantly worry about where they are or who they are texting, or why they aren’t replying straight away.
The way these relationships work will always be different for each couple, some may have different guide lines to others, but as long as you are both happy and comfortable with how the relationship is then you will be as happy as any monogamous relationship.
4. The Rules
The rule for every relationship is always simple; be happy. If a polyamorous relationship is what you know you want then go for it, but you will need to establish the ground rules to make sure you and your partner are always comfortable with how things are progressing. Communication is key in making this work.
To begin with the major rule is jealousy, after all jealousy is what destroys most relationships, and to be in a polyamorous relationship you must be comfortable with your partner being with others. You can set rules with your partner so that you are comfortable with it and it does not become a competition. When you start comparing and turning the relationship into a game, arguments will arise and it will start to fail. Begin with setting how many boyfriends/girlfriends are allowed in your lives.
If you start to feel uncomfortable then being in a polyamorous relationship will not be for you. Remember relationships are to make you happy and your partner happy, to create butterflies in your stomach, not make it churn.
When meeting new partners, you will have to explain the situation you are in to them, and not everyone will get it. Some people may not be comfortable with the idea so you will always have to explain it well to them to make sure you get full consent. Some people may find it uncomfortable being with a married women and feel like they are an accomplice to someone cheating. Others may just be wary about sexually transmitted diseases, or just prefer being in a monogamous relationship.
Always be truthful to your partner, after all, you would expect the same from them. This relationship doesn’t work if you start hiding stuff from each other, so even if it’s something like catching an STI you will have to be honest. No matter what.
Still staying on this theme, you are going to be sleeping with multiple people possibly so you will have to be careful about practicing safe sex and having regular check ups at a clinic. Stay safe while you have fun.
5. Is It Ever Successful?
It can be successful if you are all happy with the situation. As long as everyone involved in the relationship is always comfortable and happy then these relationships of multiple people can last long term.
This ‘throuple’ appeared on This Morning to reveal their story and they are still very happy after all their time together. Adam, Brooke and Jane have a functioning lifestyle where they all live in the same house and love everyone.
Adam and Brooke had a child together, and then Adam has, later on, fathered a child with Jane but with the consent of everyone involved. There is no romantic jealousy involved as everyone loves each other, the interview on This Morning even had the ‘throuple’ titled as the perfect polygamous relationship. Whether you agree or not is another story.
6. Is Monogamy Dead?
It isn’t that monogamy is dead, there are still many people out there that want to commit to sole one person, but the title of this article is that ‘is the polyamorous relationship the new in?’. I feel like it has gained popularity as it is considered a choice for most people now, but it is a choice that not everyone wants to make.
But many people that follow this lifestyle feel like the culture we are in now is outdated in following a solely monogamous relationship, and we should adapt to our times and our found freedoms.