You don’t just wake up one day and realize you’re a cougar. The signs slowly appear and before you know it you’re dating men 10 years younger than you. For me, it’s all about the thrill of feeling young and beautiful when you’re with a younger man. The sexiness is unlike anything I’ve experienced. This is my life as a cougar.
It wasn’t until I was around 25 that I started realizing I was into younger guys. Now I’m not talking about teenagers, but early twenties. Once I reached 30, I was still very much into them. Once I reached 40, I knew they were completely my type and it wasn’t just a phase. Now, I am 42 years old and I go out at least once a week with a man in his younger twenties. It’s an age of being young and carefree and I admire it so much.
When you get in your 30s, you reach this peak where you really understand what you want in life, including in your sexual life. While the men my age have more experience, it tends to just be boring. The serious factor with men older than 30 completely takes the fun out of sex for me. So, I gravitate towards the younger guys. The ones who can keep up without the use of Viagra.
The first time I felt weird about being with a 20 something year old was when I was meeting them out at the bar. Let’s call him Jared. I met Jared at a popular spot in the city for drinks after chatting with him over Facebook. He was 22 and I was 35. I have never really looked my age, which has made it easier to date younger guys. But he was a real baby-faced 22 year old.
The waiter asked for our IDs when we ordered drinks and the look he gave us was something I was really taken back by. He kind of scoffed and then went to get our drinks.
The night went on and the bar turned into a dance floor. So, like anyone would do on a date, we went out to do some dancing. I could feel the stares from all the younger girls who clearly were into my 22 year old date. I felt completely out of place, but that didn’t stop the night from unfolding back at my place. From then, I started being more aware of where I went on dates with these men.
What I learned was that I was trying to change my age, but it wasn’t something I needed to do. The guys who were into dating a woman my age weren’t looking to make me younger, they wanted me for my sexiness, experience, and age.
I started making the dates a lot more catered to what I was into. While I love the feeling of being young, I knew that I couldn’t be out at college-aged bars. So, dates turned into coming to my place, having dinners at restaurants rather than bars, and doing activities that were fun and exciting.
When I reached 40, I started having a lot harder of a time keeping guys around for longer than a few months. My longest relationship with a guy has been 3 years and it ended due to a difference in life goals. We would have held each other back so we ended things on good terms.
I’ve come to realize that the younger generation can’t seem to grasp the idea of dating and it’s only gotten worse over the last few years. Also, communication has become pretty shitty with all of the apps and texting out there.
While the men I date keep me feeling young, it is something that has made commitment a lot harder than a typical relationship. So, being a cougar isn’t always the easiest, but it is the funnest. I never know what to expect on a date, but I can always look forward to the carefree, wildness of being with a younger guy.
Have you, or someone you know, ever had experience being a cougar or dating a cougar?! Share in the comments below!
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