I Am My Jail, I Am My Bail: A Piece to Self-Love


Let’s face it, living can be hard. And though an individual’s pain should not be dismissed, but rather faced: we have alcohol. And drugs (prescription and recreational). We have sex. We have cosmetic surgeries. We stay in relationships that no longer suit us and our growth. We lash out on the people that care about us the most; we betray the people who love us the most.

The title, when I first read this quote awhile back, made me feel collectively powerful; but, as we know, power can be both good and bad. What’s most important here is your relationship with yourself- how you see yourself, how you handle your emotions, how you understand yourself better, and how you put yourself together after falling apart because everyone falls apart sometimes.

4 Ways to Improve Your Relationship with Yourself:

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1. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Last year around this time I completely deleted my Twitter, Snapchat, and Instagram. A lot of it had to do with the toxicity of my romantic relationship at the time, which fostered this constant comparison of myself to other women online. Once I got rid of the shitty boyfriend, I still maintained minimum social media presence, but I recognized this: being happy and confident in your own skin is sexy. She (or he) who knows their worth and value fully has no time for comparison. If you find yourself getting into this dangerous habit, take a break from social media and reconnect with yourself. Stop wearing makeup for a full week and embrace you at your rawest form. Give compliments. See how you feel.

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2. Learn to Say No

As a libra, “no” is not commonly used in my vocabulary. I’ve gotten better with my people pleasing tendencies over the years, but I know many people who say “yes” when they really don’t want to.  Get comfortable with your boundaries and get smart with how you spend your time. Exercise “no” a little more and you’ll be surprised how much respect you’ll gain for yourself.

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3. Learn to Be Alone

I love being alone! This goes hand-in-hand with the fourth way you can improve your relationship with yourself because learning to be alone is also learning to enjoy your own company. Also, there is a big difference between being alone and being lonely, and it’s important to know the difference.  Remember, you can be surrounded by people and still feel very lonely. Bottom line, learn to be alone and not feel like you are missing something.

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4. Learn to Enjoy Your Own Company

Be your own best friend. Forgive yourself often. Be able to laugh at yourself; don’t take life so seriously. Learning to enjoy your own company is a sign that you are becoming secure with your identity and your thoughts!

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The Takeaway:

Your relationship with yourself is a daily development, and it’s important to remember that you are everything to yourself, so treat yourself accordingly. You are your own jail, you are your own bail. Take care of yourself and get comfortable with the uncomfortable.

Did this teach you a thing or two about self love? Let us know in the comment section below!

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