I think it is safe to say that we have all had a crush on someone from the office before. And let’s face it, dating is hard. Finding out someone is a decent human being without going through all of the hassle of getting dressed up, going out, having dinner and drinks is truly a time saver. But sometimes, it can be hard to turn that casual work relationship into something more. If that’s exactly what you are looking to do, then here’s how!
Find Out If You Even Can
I know, this tip sounds like a buzzkill, but it is important. If there is a strict “no coworkers are allowed to date” rule, then you truly do have to decide if this relationship is worth all of the sneaking around and lying. Remember, there are jobs out there that do check your social media from time to time. And even if they don’t, there’s bound to be someone from work that follows you and will see if you post a picture with your new snuggle buddy. If you are willing to risk getting into trouble over perusing this relationship, then by all means do it. But if there isn’t a rule that says you can’t, then that’s even better and put you at ease!
Consider The Risks First
While getting into a new relationship is fun and exciting, consider the risks if there is fallout. While being in that relationship during work would be thrilling and wonderful, considering you will get to see each other every day, just keep in mind if things do not go according to plan. It surely will get a little awkward, regardless whether or not you two part on good terms. If you are also willing to take the risk of things not going according to your plan, then by all means take that risk. We only live once anyway, right?
Start Off Slow
Moving things too fast never leads to anything good, especially if you are in close quarters like an office. You don’t want to scare your coworker off the second you think that they could be a good match for you. Get to know them better first. Moving too fast can sometimes overwhelm a person and make them think they aren’t exactly ready for the next step. Instead, become their friend. It sounds cliche, but it is a cliche for a reason. If you want something more, being close enough to call each other friends is the best way to start this relationship into something more meaningful. Stop at their desk more often, buy them a coffee. Assure them in a friendly but direct way that you are a person they can trust and confide and have fun with. Don’t advance until you know they see you as someone more than just a coworker.
Throw Out A Hint Or Two
Okay, so it’s been a couple months (yes, months) of you and your person of interest talking and getting to know each other. By now, if they’ve been reciprocating those friendly gestures you’ve been given them, then start by nudging them in the right direction. And trust me, you will know if it’s the right time for it. Don’t start mentioning the word “date” or phrases such as “we should do this alone” if you have never gone out with you this person casually, say to a bar with all of your other coworkers, or even mentioned doing it. If this casual work relationship is strictly saying hi to each other every morning and bye when it is time to leave, then that is far too casual of a relationship to go anywhere.
If you they can confidently call you their friend, then that is when it is time to throw a flirtatious smile around and hope they reciprocate. Start throwing out those compliments–the more you pay them attention, the sooner they will start to realize that you want something more, and best case scenario you will be able to tell if they want the same exact thing.
Finally, Be Direct
While I know this is the scary part, it is quite an essential stop in getting your casual work relationship to be something more. If they haven’t gotten the picture that you are clearly interested, then it’s time to confess what you want and make it clear about how you feel. By now, this conversation shouldn’t be too terrifying if you’ve seen the signs they share some of the same feelings. They might just be too afraid to confess what they want, or they don’t want to make things awkward at work if you happen to say no.
Talking it out should hopefully only put both of your wants and needs out in the open and give you both the opportunity to see where this whole thing is going to go. Do your best to be bold and brave and tell them just what it is you want out of this relationship. Don’t hide your feelings just because you believe they might back away and never talk to you again. Odds are, they aren’t that immature. You have every right to say what you feel, even if it doesn’t pay off the way you wanted it to. Being true to yourself will always benefit you in the long run.