It’s never easy saying goodbye to the person you love. Whether it’s because they are not good for you, they are the ones wanting to leave, or you have both decided to call it quits—there’s always going to be a part of you that wants to hold on. Love never leaves. Love is not what you are saying goodbye to, because sadly it is the only part that stays when that person leaves and this is what makes it so difficult. This is how you say goodbye to the person you love.
You must remember why you are saying goodbye.
In order to release the person you love, you must remember why it is you are letting them go. We all have different reasons as to why we must move on from someone. If they were the ones to hurt you, then you must remind yourself of how you deserve better. If you have realized that love was just not enough to hold the relationship together, then you must remind yourself that there is someone out there you can actually build a future with.
You can’t keep holding onto someone when they are not right for you. If the relationship hasn’t been working out, it’s for a good reason. You can fight our hardest to make them stay or to make it work, but it will only take up all of your time and energy. If this person is making you work too hard in the relationship, then they are going to keep relying on you to do so. Say goodbye, so that you can gain that wasted time and energy for yourself.
You must learn to be okay with being alone.
Saying goodbye to a person you love is a process. Part of this process is allowing yourself to be alone after they have gone. You can’t really say goodbye to someone if you keep texting them late at night or are asking for their attention when they have left. This isn’t saying goodbye. Saying goodbye to someone you love means committing to a long amount of time of being alone. It’s the best way to officially mark the end of a relationship. You must grieve and feel all that has to be felt in order to finally establish the end of one thing and the beginning of another—which is a life without them.
You must not go back.
You can spend so much time alone and start to feel better, only to let that one person you love back in again. The love you have for this person will always remain. It doesn’t go away when they do. This is why, when you love someone and are meant to leave them, you can’t go back.
Going back will only entangle you back into the same relationship you both had before. It’s going to bring back all those same feelings and consequences that you already worked so hard to flush out of your life. If you really want to say goodbye to the person you love, you must commit to keeping a good amount of distance between the two of you. Let the feelings fade. Let yourself find someone new in order to show you a love and relationship you truly deserve.
You must appreciate the lesson learned from them.
In order to accept the end of a relationship, you must appreciate all that it has brought you. Sometimes we learn the best lessons from the worst heartaches. This is actually a beneficial outcome of something that could have been terribly wrong for you. Once you are able to see the lesson you have learned from this person, you will know that they were not the one for you.
You will see that you have gained everything that you could from that relationship and that there is no need to go back. You can still love them, care deeply for them and appreciate their time in your life, but you will know that time is finally over. It’s time for you to move onto something better and it’s time for them to do the same.