First dates are tough! If you are anything like me you might have been driving yourself crazy with endless questions right before a big first date. Questions that cause extreme anxiousness and you’ve found you’re more scared than excited to go on the date. Questions like what to wear? What to talk about? Will he ask me out again? Are they the one for me? Are just a few that come to mind anytime I’m going out with someone new. I’ve found that there are some ways to get over anxiety and nervousness and stay calm. Read on for some helpful tips that can help you be less nervous and more confident on a first date.
Wear something that makes you feel confident
Wearing something you feel great in is a must for any first date. What better way to shake off your nerves? Get pumped and excited for the date by putting on your favorite outfit that you know you look good in. Go all out and turn getting ready into a party even. The more fun you’re having before the date the more of that good energy you’ll bring to it.
Stay busy before the date
Distractions are a great way to avoid thinking about and over-thinking a first date. Do some last-minute organizing in your closet, read a chapter in a book, vacuum, or put away last night dishes. Whatever it is, find a distraction that will help focus your mind on the task at hand and you’ll be too busy to panic and might even calm whatever nerves you have before the date. Just don’t pick a task that might make you stress out even more!
Be a great listener
While on the date try to listen as much as you talk. Normally when there is an awkward silence we tend to rush to fill it with unnecessary chatter. Avoid this by really paying attention to what your dating is saying. Remember key things they brought up in conversation that piqued your interest. If you find you run out of things to say, you can always refer back to those key moments and have them discuss it more in detail about it.
Have fun questions to ask ahead of time
A good way to calm your nerves before your date is figuring out some questions on hand to ask if the conversation begins to run out. Don’t write it down on a flashcard and pull out during the date. Just have two or three in the back of your mind to ask just in case. This can also work as a distraction you can do before the date. Think of some good questions that can take the conversation to the next level and help you get more of a glimpse into their character. Questions I’ve used in the past are:
What are your New Years’ resolutions?
What’s your favorite childhood memory?
What’s the most spontaneous thing you ever did?
What was your favorite cartoon growing up?
What’s your favorite movie and why?
Remember they are probably nervous too
If you’re nervous they might be too. Everyone likes to make a good first impression and so we all tend to get so wrapped up in our heads of how were acting we forget the other human across from us is/has experienced the same kind of emotions and feelings at one point or another. If you do something or say something dumb just laugh it off and roll with it. Confidence looks good on everyone! Even if you have to fake it to make it.
Focus on commonalities
On a first date, it’s easy to see all the ways the person may or may not match up to your ideal perfect match. Your date might even be weirder than you thought… Just try your best to be a good sport no matter what. Don’t keep track of all the differences but instead focus on what you have in common.
The differences are good! It is what keeps life interesting. Instead of focusing on how your date might be the complete opposite of yourself, listen to what you have in common. It might not be enough to lead to a second date but at least you will have things to chat about during dinner.
Think of your date as a new friend you’re meeting up with
A great way to shake off first date nerves is to think of your date as an old friend. It takes off a lot of pressure on you to feel like you have to be your very best. You want someone who likes you for you and that means being comfortable enough to show them yourself and not a more restrained version of you. Now I’m not suggesting you burp openly in front of your date, but just don’t try and be someone you’re not. You want them to fall for you and not who you pretend to be.
Be in the moment
Many times we look back on things and wish we were more present and enjoyed the moment more. Being present on the date will ultimately make you feel more relaxed and comfortable. We’re easily able to tell when someone has zoned out completely on us when we talk. It’s not only hurtful but pretty rude. So don’t over-analyze in your head, be present and don’t rob yourself of enjoying the moment and time your spending with your date. Who knows they could be the one for all you know. You’ll want to remember the details of the first date to share with your kids one day… here’s to dreaming!