Ready to break through the friendzone? Confinement in the friendzone is painful. On the one hand, your overwhelming fear of rejection is preventing you from confessing. On the other, you have a burning desire to tell the truth. Don’t let yourself bear the weight of apprehension anymore. Knowing some tips for how to deal with the dreaded confession can help to abate that anxiety. It may even lead to what you’ve been yearning for, reciprocation. Without further ado, here are the eleven ways you can move out of the friendzone before Valentine’s Day.
1. Show Interest
Sometimes moving out of the friendzone is as simple as showing romantic interest. You may think you’ve made your interest abundantly clear, but actually articulating your attraction in words makes certain that they’ll receive the message.
2. Stay Brief
Clear communication is only the first step, however. You’ll also need to be as terse as possible. Rambling in order to momentarily preempt the rejection won’t make it sting any less. In fact, your fear of rejection will just deter your crush from saying yes. Thus, you need to cut to the chase, and candidly confess your attraction.
3. Don’t Blame Them
Try to detach your emotions from the situation, and entertain the possibility of rejection. The crush who rejects you hasn’t committed a terrible offense. People can’t control their sexual attraction. And if you continue to scapegoat your crush, your friendship may hang in the balance. Instead, you should preface your confession by acknowledging that you’ll embrace rejection. I assume your friendship with your crush is more important than a damaged ego.
4. Don’t Ask Too Many Questions
Again, be succinct with your confession. Your crush doesn’t want you to highlight your insecurities. The most important question concerns whether or not your crush wants to be with you, not your level of attractiveness. You don’t want to desperately implore for their attraction; you want to calmly ask your crush the most important question: “do you want to be with me?” If the answer is no, you can still walk away with some grace.
5. Stop Practicing
Practicing in the mirror will make your confession seem contrived. You want your admission to be genuine. A brief, heartfelt confession is much more likely to evoke respect than a rehearsed monologue. You may not persuade your crush, but afterwards they will have gained a newfound admiration for you, which may prove to be just as valuable as attraction.
6. Be Calm
This tip is closely aligned with some of the others. As trite as it sounds, people are attracted to confidence. A steady voice is much more likely to persuade your crush than a shaky one. Calmly confess your attraction, and if you’re met with rejection, gracefully accept it. Those are the only ways with which you’ll come out relatively unscathed. You may be a bit disappointed, but you’ll be proud of your courage.
7. Don’t Be Overly Sexual
Your confession will imply that your attraction is sexual. You don’t need to describe in length the beauty of your crush’s perfectly round ass. If you do, then your attraction will be interpreted as pure lust despite your best intentions. The same can be said for sappy metaphors comparing your crush’s blue eyes to stunning waterfalls. Irrespective of the melodramatic comparison, nothing is as potent as straightforward honesty. Again, omit all the needless poetry, and cut to the chase. The more you compare her eyes to waterfalls, the more your admission will seem rehearsed.
8. Avoid Over-Sentimentality
Similar to other tips on this list, your should shorten your confession by omitting the feeling. Your confession doesn’t need to be full of synonyms for beautiful. That’s not to say that your confession should sound mechanical and contrived. Rather, your admission shouldn’t contain any abstract concepts like love. Love is a feeling that’s difficult to convey, which is why people for centuries have endeavored to describe it. Be humble enough to know that the subject of love, especially when you’re nervous, may be a bit out of your grasp. Just focus on the most basic feelings that can easily be digested. Again, you’re not trying to freestyle beautiful poetry; you’re just trying to communicate your attraction.
9. Stop Saying “No”
Sometimes we try to stall by stating what we aren’t rather than what we are. Yes, antimodels can shed light on certain things, but a romantic attraction isn’t one of them. After awhile, your crush will be playing the guessing game, and you don’t want that. People desire to hear what you are, not what your aren’t. So don’t take the circuitous route.
10. Skip The Flirting
Flirts try to win over their crushes with overt hints and aggressive staring. Bad pickup lines and sexual innuendos are much less sexy than candor. Many people fall victim to the belief that persistence is the best way to break through the friendzone. This is not the case. In my mind, the best way to escape the friendzone requires very little effort. You may have to muster up the courage, but the act itself should be easy. Just confess your attraction. No flirting needed.
11. Accept Rejection
The last and most important part of a painless confession is accepting rejection. I’ve mentioned this piece of advice throughout the article, but I wanted to emphasize it in concluding this list. There’s plenty of fish in the sea, which means you’ll receive a slew of rejections throughout your life. I’m not going to pretend that we can truly develop are own self-perceptions. Our self-image is inherently molded by the world, and the more you’re rejected, the more you’ll question your attractiveness. Before you despair, however, you should know a few things: firstly, know that the people who pride themselves on their physical appearance are pathetic and soulless. Beauty withers away, and all you’re left with is you. Secondly, some people have specific taste. They may think you’re attractive; they may even be sexually attracted to you. But that won’t necessarily lead to sex. Your self-image will inevitably fluctuate throughout your life, but I hope those two facts lessen the troughs.