Most enter their lives with very few expectations leading to very few regrets. As a child, more often than not, needs are met. Perhaps you might wonder why regret is on your mind when you leave this world as an adult when it never crossed your mind as an infant. While reading this article, there is likely something you recall that fills you with the emotion of regret. Types of regret are specific to each individual. Still, hopefully, while reading this article and applying it to your own situation, you will come across something you might not have considered before.
Regret by Action and Regret by Inaction
Most regret can be siphoned into two categories. Regret by action and regret by inaction. While focusing on the situation where the regret exists can be beneficial, learning to heal from the feeling of regret is likely more helpful to move forward. While reading through this article, contemplate how it applies to your life currently and write down what you want to do moving forward. Be honest with yourself. If fear arises, ask yourself in what ways it is aiding you.
The best way to live with no regrets is to set goals. There are countless ways to go about doing this. Some of the most popular methods are vision boards, bucket lists, planners, SMART goals, and others. Vision boards and bucket lists are a great way to ballpark the important things you want to accomplish in your life leading to a life filled with no regrets. SMART goals are a fantastic method to narrow down the details of whatever kind of goal you hope to achieve. For now, let’s focus on the larger goals and narrow them down as we go.
The most important aspect of living with no regrets is that you must want it more for yourself than anyone else. Perhaps your goals revolve around travel, or maybe they are focused more on relationships such as family or friends. It all starts with communicating what those goals are to yourself and to your support system so they can push you in the right direction when you fall off track.
Google will be your new best friend like it isn’t already! If you are unsure what you are looking to achieve, start by looking up locations, destinations, activities, classes, or inspiration. Even if you are looking to build relationships with others or yourself to live a “no regrets filled life,” there is no point in doing so if there isn’t a little fun. Activities such as rock climbing, coffee dates, plant shopping, hiking, kayaking, nature walks, dinners out, drinks out, painting classes, yoga, and countless other activities are all great ways to go out and enjoy life. The last thing you want to think about is that you didn’t try everything you wanted to.
What are my Passions?
While all the previous activities are fun and lighthearted, people often have passions that run deeper. Those that go unacknowledged will soon turn into regret. Starting your own business, going back to school for higher education, or going on a date with that person you really like. Those are the activities that turn into risks. There is no greater feeling in the world than taking a risk. Not only are you living your most authentic self, but you are showing up the way you truly want. Remember that part about “you must want it more for yourself than anyone else,” this is where that kicks in. Even if you failed, you would always know that you tried. While taking bigger and bigger risks, those regrets become smaller and smaller, making the next one easier to tackle.
Perhaps by this point, you have an idea in your head about the kind of goals you want to achieve. While these are all great in theory, most of these goals will fall through the cracks if they are not honestly planned out. For instance, ya know how everyone’s new year’s resolution is to lose weight, and they last for 1 week doing some mortifying core exercises at the gym before falling off the face of the earth? That right there is what we are trying to avoid. The goals you set need to be…
Perhaps start with 5 goals that sound exceedingly fun, or you feel you really need to accomplish. Instead of just throwing yourself into the situation, give yourself time to sit down and really think through this plan. What is the plan exactly? How will I know when I have accomplished this goal? What will tell me when this goal is complete? Is this something that needs to be done now, or should it wait for a better time? When will this goal be done? Today, tomorrow, or 6 months from now. This seems like a lot of planning and way too much work but the more details you can provide in your SMART goals, the more momentum, and power you put behind the execution of these goals. Therefore, you live with more fulfillment and no regrets.
Support and Feedback
Some of these goals might be more challenging. Perhaps they involve some confrontation or difficult conversations. Maybe they include working around parts of yourself that you don’t want to acknowledge or confront. Surround yourself with people who really see you and can support you with what you really want. Show these people who love you the goals you have planned and what you are trying to accomplish by doing so. Ask for feedback to better your pursuit and execution of the goal.
Sometimes living with no regrets can seem overwhelming. Give yourself time and space to experience self-healing and love. Negative thoughts can come in and say, “I am not good enough,” “I am not more special than anyone else,” “what if I fail,” these words are distractions from living authentically and with no regrets. Put your thoughts to the test. More likely than not, they are wrong.