You’re 20s are a confusing and telling time in your life. They are the ages in which we should have as many casual relationships as possible to figure out exactly what we want in life, and also to figure out what we are looking for in future commitments. These are also the ages in which we just want to have fun, enjoy being single, and enjoy our time we have by ourselves. These are our times of growth, understanding, and change. These are the times in which we learn to put ourselves first, and the times in which we are excused to be unapologetically selfish.
In other words, you are single and ready to mingle (as you should be at this time in your life). You have no intentions of making any commitments in the foreseeable future, and you sure do not want anyone to think otherwise. You are dating, having casual hookups, and seeing people on a regular basis, but you do not want them to get the wrong idea. You also do not want to led anyone on. You ask yourself, how do I have my fun and still manage to keep all those strings unattached? Here are some tips and tricks to consider in order to have a hookup with no strings attached:
Establish Boundaries Beforehand
Before engaging in any sort of casual hookups, you and your person of interest need to lay down the law as to how far you’re willing to take the relationship (or lack of relationship). You need to ask each other of your intentions, or just lay your own intentions on the line to begin with. Ask each other if your hookup is going to be a one time thing, or if you both plan on hooking up on “as needed” basis? Are you guys just friends for the night, or are you going to be friends with benefits long term? Whatever you both decide, just make sure it is clear that neither on of you intend on turning your hookup into a relationship.
Communicating your boundaries after jumping into bed together will prove to be difficult if not impossible, so being straight forward and getting those conversations out of the way at the beginning will be a major stress reliever for the both of you, and it will eliminate awkward encounters further down the line.
The rise in popularity of data apps means you will have infinite possibilities in terms of potential hookup partners. Many people who utilize these platforms are just like you. They are singles looking for casual hookup partners with which they can enjoy a few nights out. They are looking for benefits without the friends and Tinder is a perfect place to look for such things.
Tinder makes it easy to connect with others. All you have to do is just swipe right on those who spark your interest and then shoot them a spunky message to see if the attraction is reciprocated. If it happens to be a match, you were both clearly attracted to each other, so spark up a conversation and work your way to a casual hookup.
Don’t Do relationship things
The easiest way to ensure you maintain your single status is to avoid any and all activities that scream romance and relationship. This means to steer clear of the apple orchards in the autumn, chocolates during Valentines Day, and definitely don’t visit any romantic light displays during the holiday season. Keep your dates casual, and remember the most operative location for a meet-up is the bedroom.
Relationship things extend past just dates. The line between platonic and romantic is a fine one, so be sure your actions reflect your emotional investment (or lack thereof). Physical touch can communicate powerful messages, and can be easily misinterpreted. Hand-holding or waist-grabbling have possessive connotations, so engage in such gestures sparingly. Do not cling to them at the bar or let them cling to you. Do not ever drunkenly tell them you miss them or want to see them. Most importantly, do not EVER accidentally call them your boyfriend!
Don’t Discuss Personal Things
WORDS WORDS WORDS … Be sure not to give your hookup partner the wrong impression by being overly serious. Do not share intimate details of your life or discuss your feelings with your hookup partner. Also, make sure you are not asking them too many questions and making them believe you care about the details of their life. Keep the conversations light and playful.
Only use a flirty tones in your text messages, and only keep the conversations about the fun you both have in the bedroom (or wherever else). Any conversations that aren’t about your current hookups, initiating future hookups, and casual conversation starters are not warranted.
Keep Communication To A Minimum
If you do not want to have any string attached when having casual hookups, you have to keep conversations short and sweet. Do not carry on unneeded conversations, or text them all day long. Do not reply to their snapchats within seconds, and do not like and comment on their instagram posts. The less interactions you have with the the better!
You do not need someone getting attached, or getting used to seeing your name come across their phone. You also do not want someone thinking you are becoming to invested in them. If this happens, you could scare them away by making them think you are the one that is more interested in them.
Casual hookups are a difficult thing to do and navigating them can be tricky! So, it’s important that you understand how your actions can affect the casual relationship between the both of you. All you have to do is pretend like this person barely exists outside of the time you both are hooking up and you should be just fine!
Have any more tips on how to have a successful casual hookup? Comment below and let us know how you go about having hookups with no strings attached!
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Hi! My name is Tatum Fales and I'm a senior and communications major at Emmanuel College in Boston MA. My hobbies include writing, binge watching Netflix, and keeping up with every ounce of Celebrity gossip. I'm so excited to be writing for Society19 and I can't wait to share my writing with you!