Everyone at some point will suffer from heartbreak. It’s one of the hardest things to deal with and at the time all you might feel is extreme sadness and loneliness. Your feelings are valid and here are some ways to help you deal with this process and move forward. Just remember you might feel like they’re your better half and that you can’t live without them but you can. You have lived without them before and you will continue living without them after this. You are strong, independent and even though you might feel hurt and broken this isn’t going to last forever you will be happy again.
Go ahead and cry while wearing your pajamas for a week. Stay in bed, stop your diet, and eat Ben and Jerry’s cookie dough ice cream whilst having your hair in a messy bun. All of this is okay. Cry while hugging his sweater that he left in your apartment. Give yourself a couple of weeks to mourn and to hurt. You can’t move on until you complete the first step. You don’t have to push yourself to hurry up and move on because your heart doesn’t work like that. You have to wait for your broken bones to heal before you can take off your cast and there is nothing different when it comes to matters of the heart.
Block Your Ex
Stop. You’re weak, you’re vulnerable, you’re about two wineglasses away from calling him because you need ‘closure’. You won’t get closure, you’re not expecting closure. You either want to call him to yell at him or call him and hope he wants you back. You don’t want closure you want him to say the words you’re hoping he’d say. Block the number, delete his contacts to make sure you won’t call him and he can’t call you. Delete and block him off social media. You’ll be hurting seeing photos of them being out or moving on before you’re ready.
Focus Your Energy
You’re sad, you’re hurt, you’re a mixture of feelings. You’re sad that it’s over but are looking forward to the pain to go away so you can start to feel happy again. Focus your energy on a hobby or something you’ve been wanting to do. Better yourself during this time. If you’re still extremely sad and in the beginning stage of the breakup do an activity that’s low energy. Read in bed more. Write sad poetry that you might find cringe-worthy later. Try learning songs on that ukelele that you purchased three months ago or learn how to sew and change needles on your sewing machine that’s sitting on the desk in the corner. Paint on a canvas to try to express your emotions. All of these ideas are great to start getting out of that slump that you’re in. Feeling sad and mourning is a great first step but remember you can’t stay in that state forever. The sadness is still going to continue and you will have to move on before everything is peachy again but that’s okay. Activities like this will slowly help you heal and forget the pain you’re in. Take photos, watch the sunset. Now is the time to focus on you again and figure out what will help you.
Forgiveness. Don’t let hate fester in your heart. Come to terms with the fact that your significant other who you cared for so deeply is now gone. Understand that you two will never get that back whatever it is that you once had is no longer there. Move on. It might be too early to enter the dating game but understand the relationship is over and understand that they have the right to figure out what their happiness is. You don’t have to agree with the hurt they gave you but you can’t let yourself stew on it forever. Let it out of your mind and consider this a learning lesson to know what to look out for in your next relationship and what to be warry about. This has to be one of the hardest steps to deal with after a breakup and you may not want to but you should. You don’t have to like them or be nice to your significant other but you have to accept the choices they’ve made and not let the hate stay or else you’ll dwell on it for far too long.
Self Love and Self Care Routine
After a break up you might’ve been hard on yourself and focused on all the reasons why he could have left instead of staying and that could have definitely hurt your self-image. Loving yourself first is always important and it is something you should practice year-round not just after a heartbreak but it’s also something many of us lose sight on. It is not selfish to care about yourself and put your needs first. That is why this is such a crucial step to take part in. Self-care is also just as important as self-love and positivity. You’ve been through heartbreak and swallowed pint after pint of cookie dough ice cream but now it’s time to get back into feeding your body the nutrients it needs. There are different types of self-care you have physical, emotional, social, and spiritual. During this time of heartbreak, you’ve might have pushed away your friends and loved ones. It’s good to have friends and work on every part of yourself. Let’s say you have dry hair focus on doing a hair mask once every two weeks. If you’re not as toned as you’d like to create a workout regime. Set reminders or write down your routine or regime in your planner. Focusing on your well being and that way you can create a schedule and figure out what your body needs. Health, mind, and soul are the three main pillars on creating a better you and once you focus on that you won’t have to worry or still feel hurt by the latest heartbreak. Making sure you’re happy in the other aspects of your life will make it harder to still feel pain over the smaller things. Everything in life is a lesson and consider that a life lesson taking you one step closer to a happier you.