It seems that when the fall season rolls around, two things are for sure to bombard the college scene: pumpkin spice lattes and breakups.
Whether it is your high school sweetheart, a friend that you’ve known your entire life, or a recent fling, there is no denying that a college breakup is an awful situation to go through. Fortunately, there are many ways to get yourself out of the gloom and back to being you.
Cut loose ends
Do not leave the number of your ex in your phone or at the top of your messages list. Delete it. Move on! You are more likely to keep thinking about it the more you see things that remind you of them. And those angst filled texts, or even self pity texts – forget about it. You will inevitably be more likely to send these types of messages if you see that person’s name, right there, begging for you to come back. You are worth more than that.
Join a club or take a class
While you may have been this happy, joint-at-the-hip couple, you probably missed out on doing lots of things that you were interested in, because your partner wasn’t into it. So here’s your chance! Take that pottery class, join that running club, take some time out to do something that can not only get your mind off of the situation, but also something that you enjoy and can help you grow as a person.
Go out again
Chances are you keep blowing off plans with friends because you’re not ready to put yourself out there again. This is not the right answer. Yes it may take time to fully move on, but do not seclude yourself in your room, listening to Taylor Swift when you could be out having spontaneous fun with people who love you. Going out does NOT mean you are “putting yourself out there.” Did you hear that in the back? It doesn’t. Going out simply means enjoying the company of others in a social setting, and not letting bad memories taint that experience.
Now here is where things get to a new degree of seriousness. This is what separates the children from the adults, so take notes! If you ended things on a bad note, you will not be able to get over this break up until you receive some closure. Whether it is talking with that person, asking what went wrong, waiting for an explanation or trying to understand why it happened the way it did.
Now, if you are too nervous, or on such bad terms that these type of answers are a distant fantasy – there are other forms of closure that rest fully in your hands. I believe these are more powerful than actually meeting with the person who broke your heart, because these involve you fixing your heart on your own. You have to remember that breakups happen, and more importantly, you have to remember that it is not your fault. You are not blame. This breakup is not about you as a person – your worth is not defined by a relationship. At the end of the day, you are still you. You are still someone who is loved by family and friends, someone who is just as intelligent and talented, someone who is still as beautiful regardless of the fact that someone may not see you as you are meant to be seen.
So when you find yourself dealing with a college breakup, know it is okay to cry and eat lots of ice cream, but not for too long. Get a good rest on clean sheets, wake up and make yourself your favorite coffee or tea, look into the mirror and tell yourself “I love you,” because your love for yourself is more important than any other person’s feelings about you!
Feature image source: newscult.com
Simran is a student at UBC who enjoys coffee, running, books and poetry. Currently, she is too busy writing essays, papers, and midterms to decide what to major in.