Now, you may have opened this article hoping it was the master cheat-sheet check-list to help you on how to find the right guy, and I hate to let you down but sadly you are reading the wrong article. Let me explain.
This is not a cliché article.
This is not going to be a cliché generic list consisting of “a guy that laughs at all my jokes”, or “a guy that surprises me with flowers”, or “a guy that takes me on cute dates”. Because yes, these all things may be nice, and things that maybe your boyfriend does for you. But, when looking for qualities in a potential boyfriend, I believe you have to look much deeper than this.
Make sure you are able to be yourself around them.
For me, one of the most important things I look for in a guy is someone I can be myself around. If you cannot be yourself in front of this person completely, what’s the point? So, you may snort occasionally when you laugh, or be insecure about your appearance in one way or another, or wish you had what some other girl has. Many people wish so desperately to change aspects about themselves, sometimes to gain the acceptance of others. Saying things like, “I would be so much more attractive if I had her body”, or “I bet he would like me if I was as gorgeous as her”. But rarely do we turn around and look at ourselves for all the amazing qualities we already have.
When trying to find the right guy, be certain that he appreciates your uniqueness.
We are all unique in our own way, and we are all beautiful in our own way. For the longest time, I believed that if I acted or dressed like someone else who I saw as more attractive than myself, that a guy I was interested in, would be interested in me. But I came to the realization that I am happy with who I am, and I deserve to feel this way. I have come to accept the fact that my hair can get pretty frizzy, that my laugh is kind of loud and comparable to an air horn, and that I may not look as good in an outfit that another girl would. I came to this realization, because these are all things that make me, me. Why would I want to be anyone else, when I can be myself?
You will find the perfect guy once you learn to love yourself first.
You have to love yourself, before you can make room in your heart to love anyone else. I’ll be the first to admit, I might not be quite there yet.
Find someone who loves you for everything that you are, and for everything that you are not.
But coming to this realization before I would try to find the right guy has helped me become a more positive and confident person. And has also led me to the root of this prompt, how to find the perfect guy for you. I have learned to look for someone who loves me for everything that I am, and everything that I’m not. Instead of wishing I was someone I’m not to get the attention of some guy, I should appreciate myself and the uniqueness of who I am, and eventually the right guy will be there to see it, and appreciate it as well.
Be patient, this isn’t a race.
There’s no race, no competition, you don’t need a guy in your life to love you. You can love yourself, and appreciate yourself. You can be loved and appreciated by family and friends who support you. In a society that puts so much pressure on what we should be, we take little time to appreciate who we already are.
Always be yourself, not who you think you should be.
So be you, be yourself. Because you are beautiful, and great in a million and one ways. There is only one you, don’t waste the wonderful opportunity that is your life. Live life for yourself, not for anyone else.
For those of you who have already found the right guy, how did you find the right guy for you? Comment below and share this article with friends!
Featured image source: , hstu.info
Sarah is a writer for the UNH chapter of Society19. She is currently studying Occupational Therapy and minoring in Psychology.