All of us have experienced jealousy and most of us have experienced jealousy in a relationship. We’ve been jealous of that person randomly texting our significant other, or that stranger flirting with them at the bar. Jealousy can arise as a terrible mixture of anger and anxiety. Usually these feelings of jealousy evolve because we have a fear of losing that loved one – but often this only causes tension in the relationship. Here are five steps to help deal with jealousy and overcome that unnecessary feeling!
1. Work on your confidence
You are an amazing, beautiful, smart, kick-ass human being and your significant other is lucky to have you. Everyone has valuable qualities; believe in yours! Remind yourself every day of your assets… caring, loving, intelligent, thoughtful, the list goes on. Don’t compare yourself to others, everyone excels in their own way. Make a list of all the things you love about yourself. As soon as your self confidence starts kicking in, you’ll feel a lot less threatened by others.
2. Learn to trust
I know, everyone always says you have to trust your partner. But seriously, trust will get you through most jealousy-filled moments. Jealousy can make you act irrationally, so really consider if there is actual reason for concern, or if you’re letting emotions get the best of you. If you are seriously suspicious that your significant other is being unfaithful and have lost trust, you might want to take a step back and question if this relationship was meant to be.
3. Be aware
Try to be aware of your emotions and where they come from. Jealousy may stem from scenarios you make up in your mind. Become aware of this and actively stop yourself from playing these out in your head.
Behavior can influence your jealousy, just as your jealousy can influence your behavior. If you find yourself being mean mean, passive aggressive, or laying blame on your partner, take a breath and recognize how your jealousy is affecting your behavior.
Combined with the 4 steps above, communication will get you through moments of jealousy and help to eliminate them. Communicate to your partner how you are feeling, why and what you need from them to feel better. If you are suspicious of some kind of infidelity, then you need to bring this up. Don’t let jealousy ruin your relationship before it’s too late.
Featured image source: wisegeek.org
Melanie Mason is a student at Connecticut College studying Environmental Studies and U.S. Politics. In her free time she enjoys yoga, country music and margaritas.