With Pride Day quickly approaching, has the thought of coming out to your parents been on your mind? This is such a huge conversation to have and one that causes a lot of anxiety for many members of the LBGTQ+ community. Following is a list of points to remember and consider to help you prepare to come out to your parents.
In case you need to hear this: I just want to say how brave you are to broach this topic, and how proud you should be. Always remember that love is love. I am sending all of my hugs your way!
1. Anticipate Their Responses Realistically
No matter the beliefs of your parents, always keep in mind that when you come out, it is a big deal for them as well. Understand that they might be shocked, confused, or curious.
Don’t expect your parents to adjust to the news right away. Give them time to grasp the changes. Mentally preparing yourself will make the process easier on you.
2. Prepare What To Say
Plan out points that you want to touch upon when you decide to come out to your parents. Sitting down with a jumbled mind will make you more nervous and scattered. Consider how exactly you want to ease into the conversation. What exactly do you want to tell them?
Be sure to educate your parents. Bring facts, definitions, or whatever you feel fits to the situation. Great sources include Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG), Advocates for Youth, and The National LGBT Health Education Center. If they can understand what you are saying better, then the conversation will flow smoother.
There is a strong chance that your parents will ask several questions. Consider these questions and plan out some potential answers.
The most important part is to make sure you are being clear. Don’t try to beat around the bush. Make you are all on the same page.
3. Consider The Timing
Make sure that you and your parents are in a good spot in your relationship. Don’t spring this on them in the middle of an argument or a stressful period. Make sure you both are in the right mindset to form coherent thoughts and comments, free from any pent up frustration.
Also, make sure you are 100% ready to come out to your parents. Do not let anyone tell you when you are ready. Take the time you need for yourself to feel comfortable and strong in your own skin.
4. Assure Them That You Are Happy
When you come out to your parents, show them that you are truly happy with yourself. They are likely to gain more of an understanding and acceptance. Ultimately, they just want you to be safe and content in your life. When you show that you are okay, this is likely to dissolve more of your parent’s worries. Provide comfort to them.
Throughout the entire conversation, make sure that you maintain your pride in yourself and your sexuality. Never waiver from who you are. Know that your sexuality doesn’t define you, but is a small fraction of what makes you…you. Take care of your heart.
5. Remember That You Are Family
At the end of the day, you are all family. Your parents love you unconditionally, no matter what happens. Family is the one group you can always depend on to always have your back.
Reassure your parents that you want to maintain a strong relationship with them, and that is your reason for coming out to them. Accept their emotions, and expect them to accept yours.
I just want to say again how proud I am of you for coming out and embracing who you truly are. I hope you have the best pride day and one that is full of love.