Jealousy is not a good look on you, darling. One time or another we have all felt jealous, in a relationship. Whether it is of our friends, in our relationship, or of the fact that the Kardashians get to enjoy their vacation home while you’re stuck on the couch. When jealousy enters a relationship it is impossible for the relationship to thrive to its full potential. Jealous people have a hard time trusting and this can limit the amount of transparency in a relationship. If two people love each other can jealousy ruin the relationship?
The answer is simple. Yes. Although jealousy is hard to overcome, it is necessary if you want to have a loving and trusting relationship. Here is how to combat jealousy in a relationship.
Be Honest About How You Feel
When you catch your man checking out another girl you may feel like you need to brush it off and appear like it doesn’t bother you. While playing it cool may be the right move sometimes, you should also take into account that you have real feelings about the situation. A relationship is 50/50 so your partner deserves to know how you feel about the matter.
We all notice attractive people which is totally normal. However, if his eyes linger a little too long while you’re with him that is rude AF. Call him out on it and next time he will think before he looks. Being open and honest about your feelings is important in your relationship and if he discards how you feel, it may be time to move on. You deserve better than that.
Find The Source Of Your Jealousy
Is your man having a drink with an ex? Is he going to the strip club for his best friend’s bachelor party? While these all are valid reasons to feel jealous, you should always take a step back and determine where your jealousy is really coming from. Have you had bad experiences in the past where your partner has lost your trust?
If yes, then honor the fact that the distrust you are feeling may be from past experiences you’ve had together that you have not quite gotten over yet. If your partner has never given you a reason not to trust him then it may be coming from your own insecurities and not feeling like you are enough. Either way, communication is key and you should always express how you are feeling for full transparency.
Fix Your Mindset
If you are struggling with how to combat your jealousy it is a good idea to work on shifting your mindset. Try uprooting your jealousy and take a hard look at your thought patterns. Are you seeing your partner cleary or is your perception of them clouded by thoughts you are creating yourself. Remind yourself of the positive things your partner brings to the relationship but don’t disregard their weaknesses.
If you find yourself blaming your partner or seeing them with all-or-nothing shades it’s likely that your imbalanced thinking is distorting the relationship. Spend time sorting out your feelings and work on shifting yourself to a positive mindset. Remember you can trust your partner until they give you a reason not to.
You are fabulous you just may not see it. Jealousy often masks the love that we have for ourselves and projects our fears and our insecurities on to others. When jealousy hits you and you immediately turn to put yourself down, don’t. Look in the mirror and shift your focus.
Practice self-love and compassion for yourself and soon you will see the jealousy you have disappearing. Instead of interrogating your partner adopt an attitude of curiosity so you can get to know them for who you are. Once you know your self-worth, regardless of what happens your jealousy will fade and you will see yourself for the queen you are.
Focus On The Good
Ok. So you saw what looked like your man flirting with one of his female friends. It is easy to jump to jealous conclusions but remember that he chose you to be with not her. You have a history and unmatched closeness. Everybody flirts sometimes (even you don’t lie), without even really being conscious of it. It doesn’t always mean they want to act on it and if they do then boy bye! Stay positive and remind yourself that you have a good relationship and the best thing you have going for you is that no one else is you.
Leave The Baggage Behind
The boyfriends of relationships past can haunt us and often times they are the reason we feel jealous in our current relationships. Don’t blame your partner for something your ex would have done. Maybe you’re worried about him staying faithful because your ex-boyfriend cheated on you but that situation isn’t the same one you’re in now (hopefully). Bringing old baggage into the relationship is not fair to either of you. Give them a fighting chance they deserve it.
If you are reading this then chances are you already know that you are a jealous person. While I will always encourage you to be who you are, when you feel jealous take a deep breath before you react. Just because you have a feeling doesn’t mean you have to act on it and probably shouldn’t. You would think before you act on anger and the same goes for jealousy. Process the feeling and see if it will just go away. If it doesn’t, talk to your partner respectfully and put your mind at ease.
You Deserve To Have Love
Often times, when we are in a relationship subconsciously a little part of us, believes that we are unloveable and undeserving of love. When something sparks our jealousy we automatically jump to the conclusion that we’re unlovable and that our partner could do better, so obviously they would and will. You deserve to have a loving, caring and amazing partner and chances are you probably do! Don’t let some pesky beliefs convince you otherwise. Stay present in the moment and in your relationship. Worry and jealousy will only bring you down.
Combatting jealousy can be hard but with these tips and practices, you should have no problem. What are your favorite ways to deal with jealousy? Comment below!
Featured Image Source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/711498441116350967/
Oh Hey!Sierra here. I'm armed with an iced coffee on the daily and I have a passion for writing. When I am not writing (is that even possible?) I enjoy reading, painting, dancing and hiking.