Early relationships are defined by fiery passion, deep intimacy, and soulful sex. It’s important to try to be more intimate when the flames start to die out. Thankfully, there are several ways to do that.
The biggest misconception about intimacy is that it is only sexual. That is so far from the truth! Intimacy is really a sense of closeness. It’s when you don’t doubt the other person’s love and you love with your whole heart. It’s knowing that they are your person. Don’t get me wrong, in romantic relationships sex is a big part of that! Being more intimate is a continual effort.
Intimacy is important because studies show couples with more intimacy get over fights faster, maintain longer relationships, and are simply happier.
Affection is a must to have more intimacy in your relationship. There are ways inside and outside the bedroom to reconnect with your partner.
Inside The Bedroom
Sex is important in a relationship. Yes, it feels awesome and it also creates some intimacy. But, if your sex life is lacking, it’s probably time to make a change.
1. Explore Fantasies
Couples get comfortable in their sex life. Which is a good thing initially, but then it gets a little too comfortable. Bland sex is not intimate. Be open with your partner about different fantasies. Maybe you want to introduce some toys, role play, or a new position. Let your curiosity wander and see where it leads. Be comfortable with your own wants and needs as well. Sometimes, something just isn’t doing it for you and that’s okay! It’s just time to switch things up. Remember, it is also important to listen to your partner. Try to be open to their fantasies as well, but also set your own boundaries.
2. Slow it Down
This doesn’t mean slow down the sex, it’s more like slow down the build-up. Take time with your foreplay and let yourself be excited. Slowly kiss, touch, and undress. Taking the time to build up a sense of sensuality creates more intimacy when the big moment does happen. You can extend the foreplay by giving sensual massages, a personal lingerie fashion show, or just a really steamy make-out session.
3. Create a Mood
Sometimes sex happens when the news is playing in the background or sunlight hitting your eyes. Spontaneous sex is fine! It is a natural part of a relationship. But, to create more intimacy, a little extra care is necessary. Create the best vibe to be more intimate. Lowering the lights and putting on some soft music, might sound cheesy, but it works. Maybe it’s time to show off some new lingerie in the soft glow of a candle. Whatever it is, create the environment for romantic sex for you and your partner.
4. Pre-/Post- Sex Rituals
It’s never a good feeling when right after sex, someone gets up. The act of sex itself is intimate, so why not bask in the afterglow? Establishing rituals with your partner before and after sex is important to seal up the intimacy. Some rituals you might already have established think like always kissing your partners neck to get them in the mood. Things like kissing, cuddling, or plain old pillow talk are all common after sex rituals. If you or your partner are the type to feel sweaty after sex and must get up, try taking a showing together afterward.
Outside The Bedroom
Remember- having more intimacy is not just about sex. There are several ways to sprinkle affection throughout the day. Having intimacy outside of the bedroom is just as important as it is inside the bedroom.
1. Non-sexual Touch
Any type of contact is touch. Some examples of non-sexual touch are things like holding hands, linking arms, or massages (which in all fairness can lead to a steamy moment). Any form of touch is going to create a closer bond. Try to hold hands next time you guys go to the store together! Another way to do this is to hug. Not a quick hug, but a nice long front- to – front hug. These types of long and intentional touch will make your partner feel loved.
I don’t know anyone who doesn’t like a sweet surprise. Little surprises are a way to say “hey, I’m thinking of you”. If your partner is having a bad day, surprise them with their favorite Oreos or make their favorite dinner. Little acts of kindness go a long way in creating more intimacy. Other types of surprises might be a chore that your partner does for you or a surprise lunch date.
3. Love Notes
Love notes are cute. I have never gotten a love note and been disappointed in i. They don’t have to be love letters, just a simple note would do. Maybe you leave for work before your partner, why not leave them a sticky note by the coffee? Wish them a good day and tell them you love them. Sending a quick I love you text is another great way to brighten up your partner’s day. Notes and quick texts are a great way to show your love for your partner. They don’t take up a lot of time either. If you are feeling extra romantic, a long letter never hurts!
4. Open Communication
Communication is sexy. Honesty and openness is one of the fastest way to create a more intimate relationship. Being truly vulnerable and open with someone is a clear sign of trust. Remember to also allow your partner to share their feelings too because trust works both ways! It is easier to be on the same page when everything is out in the open. Communicating exactly how you feel the intimacy is lacking, is a huge step in creating more of it. Expressing your needs and when you feel loved are the building blocks to being more intimate with your partner.
How are you going to spice up your relationship? Let us know in the comments!
Featured image source: https://unsplash.com/photos/WbpoVhvNP_M
Hi! I'm Jayde. Communication expert and your relationship guru. I'm just living life one word at a time and trying to take it all in. You can catch me sipping an iced coffee and snuggling an animal.