We’ve all had times in our lives where we’re just vulnerable and we get attached too soon in a relationship. If you tend to find that this is a consistent pattern for you, you may want to take a deeper look into what’s going on…Here are some tips for how to date without getting attached.
1. Don’t jump in with two feet without ignoring the red flags that may appear.
If you jump in too quickly and ignore the red flags, it may feel like you were jumping into things too fast and you will second guess yourself and your emotions.
2. Don’t worry about the future with this person quite yet.
If you’re the person who’s got their future planned exactly, no wonder that you’re getting attached too fast. Unfortunately, plans don’t always work out the way you expect. You can’t make a schedule for your love life. It will come if it’s meant to be, but for now take things day at a time, be spontaneous and “living in the moment” is the healthy way to be.
3. Don’t jump into a relationship after coming out of a relationship.
Emotions from your previous relationship may play a factor of your new relationship; you may think you’re ready for a new relationship but you probably are not and jumping into things too quickly.
4. Ask yourself what you really want out of this.
Spend time considering what you want from a relationship before you settle for this person. Sometimes, you must get your brain in check before your heart leads you right off an emotional cliff. Take time and reassure yourself asking what you want, that way, you won’t make the mistake of rushing into a relationship with the wrong person for you.
5. Quit making dating decisions based on your emotions rather than logic.
To be in a healthy relationship, it’s mind over matter. Yes, it’s great to have someone there to listen to your emotions. But, you want to avoid becoming completely dependent on getting all your emotional validation from one person. So, manage your own emotions firsthand- you have total control over your emotions. If you find you’re constantly reacting based on how you feel in the moment, then take a step back and calm yourself before acting.
6. Don’t take things too far.
You know how much you can handle. You know whether sleeping with them will make your feelings for them grow, if it will trick you into believing they’re the only person for you. If that’s the case, do not do it. Keep texting and keep conversation. Do all the things that you’re comfortable doing. But don’t take it a step too far and fall hard for them; until you are given proof they are willing to commit.
7. Avoid getting wrapped up in a fantasy.
Of course we all spent some time in our life thinking the perfect partner is out there with every characteristic we want. Not every girl is Cinderella and not every guy is your Prince Charming; they won’t just pop right in front of you. And if you’re idealizing this guy/girl, you’re going to end up falling for the idea of him/her rather than the reality and when you finally come to your senses, you’ll be in for a rude awakening.
8. Don’t let your instinct tell you that he/she may be “the one” after the first or second date.
If you jump to assume this too quickly, your head is going to get caught with emotions because you think this person is the best fit and you will suddenly become attached too quick and that’s not what we want.
9. Don’t make your life revolve around him/her.
If a relationship is the only thing you’re chasing after, reevaluate your priorities. At the beginning of a new relationship, you may want to drop everything and focus on your newfound love, but doing so accelerates the relationship faster than you can say, “Does this thing have brakes?” Newsflash: You will need more than just a guy to complete you.
10. Take time with your friends.
Remember, your friends were there before this person came along. We tend to easily ignore our friends when a new partner comes into our picture because we are so wrapped up with them. However, you shouldn’t spend every second/hour of the day with your new partner; hang out with friends, it will keep a space and distance between you and your partner.
11. Know your self worth and self-love before you hand it over to someone else.
Remember, you are a priority, your happiness is a priority and YOU come first. Know what you’re worth before you give it over to someone else. Before you love someone else, you must love yourself.
Do you have any more tips for how to date without getting attached? Let us know in the comments below!