Making a Tinder profile seemed like some weird right of passage for single women living in a big city, so naturally I made an account shortly after I moved to uni, and naturally it wasn’t long before I was tired of the whole thing.
I’ve deleted the Tinder app from my phone many a time, but I’ve never deleted my account – and it’s not because I’ve ever had a successful relationship come from it. I’m fully aware of the hook-up culture that surrounds Tinder, and whilst I’m definitely not down for that, I always come back to it. When I do re-download it, I won’t be on it for long before I remember why I deleted it in the first place. My personal best is a whole 4 uninterrupted minutes.
I’m not swiping flippantly in anticipation of meeting my one true love. In fact, I’m on Tinder for every and any other reason but. Most of the time it’s harmless, sat around with my flatmates laughing at the cringey messages each other has received. Even if I do go for a little swipe, the moment I receive a message I’ll sooner roll my eyes than reply. Other times, I find myself using it in a hopeless attempt to boost my self-esteem, even though I know the likelihood of this working is about as likely as finding a successful date.
1. To keep tabs on your best friend’s ex
Granted, in most cases, providing your bestie with regular coverage of what their ex is up to isn’t the most helpful thing to do when they’re in the process of getting over said ex. But in other cases, laughing with your friend over the atrocious grammatical errors and/or the cringey gym selfies that litter their ex’s Tinder profile can actually help the cause – and I’m all about saying ‘boy bye.’
That said, take this from personal experience: if your bestie’s ex pops up on your Tinder and she hysterically demands you swipe right just to see if her ex had the audacity to swipe right her best friend, just… don’t. Trust me. It’ll only end in tears.
2. To play guess who
After using Tinder for any short time, you’re bound to come across one of those profiles where every single image is a group photo. Most of the time, I’ll roll my eyes and swipe left emphatically, but sometimes I’m like – let’s play a game *cue the Saw theme*. It’s even more fun when the people in the group pics are all the same. I’ll swipe right, and if it’s a match, I’ll ask the person some questions to try and get some clues on which person they are.
Casual rule of thumb: it’s probably not the fit one third from the left 🙁
3. To super like your friends
Whilst I personally get a bit sick to the stomach anytime I see a super like notification come up on my phone, I’ve since made good use of the feature. Whenever a friend turns up on my Tinder, I’ll give them a complimentary super like under the unspoken mutual understanding I will receive one in return. It’s the best way to acknowledge that, yes, we’ve just seen each other on Tinder, despite the high probability we have both lamented how deplorable it is to each other. It’s all a bit awkward, but I’m a big fan of making some fun out of a cringey feature on a lame dating app.
4. To make myself feel pretty
As sad as it is to admit, I’m definitely guilty of downloading Tinder and updating my profile with new photos when I’m feeling crap about myself. If I’m feeling especially insecure, I might even have a little swipe, lowering my standards with each flick. On the off chance that I do match and get a message from a 10, I’ll remember that this is Tinder, so there’s a high chance I already know their intentions, so I probably not reply.