Miami University has the stereotype that everyone is a spoiled preppy rich kid. Everyone shops solely at J. Crew, Polo and Banana Republic. You won’t catch anyone not wearing Sperry’s, or in the winter, duck boots. Everyone lives off of Daddy’s money and blindly follows whatever he says.
While these stereotypes aren’t entirely true (there definitely are a good number of these people at Miami), there are definitely a finite of guys you’re going to meet on the hookup scene. In fact, there are about eight different dudes you’re going to encounter at Miami University and here they are.
This guy expects sex on the first night. He only talks about his summer internship with Deloitte. He definitely wears a Comfort Colors shirt to the bars. He pays the $6 cover to Brick with Daddy’s money. And, of course, he voted for Trump and isn’t ashamed to admit it either.
With this guy you definitely stay up into the wee hours of the morning talking about nothing but everything. He says he’ll visit you over J-term (and then, obviously, he doesn’t). You go on late night runs to Pulley together. He hooks up with another girl at New in front of you. He makes you feel psychotic for thinking it was more than a hookup. And he says “can we still be friends though?” but then never texts you back.
He honestly dresses impeccably. But he compliments your top, not your boobs. He works at a Kofenya. You actually enjoy spending time with him. He expects a cooler and nothing else for his formal.
You only talk to him when your 1.5 trashcans in. You don’t make eye contact when you see each other at King. You know his drink order, but not his major. You’ve never seen his room with the lights on.
This guy helps you with your MBI 111 homework. He sas joked about kissing you under the arch, but is it really a joke??? He most certainly takes care of you first. He always picks you up at another frat when you need to be walked home. He might be comfortable, but not exciting.
He’s covering all the bases this time around. He knows his time is limited, so gets straight to the point. He’ll take you to Paesanos, not Pulley. He remembers when Shriver was the student center. He has switched his major three times.
You have to check his insta before you text him to make sure he doesn’t have a girlfriend. It’s okay to hook up on day four of your shaving schedule. You can expect a high five afterward. You split the bill at QB. You know he’ll never ask you to be his girlfriend and it’s probably better that way.
He has VIP at Brick and is clearly underage. He always wears HIS jersey out. He kicks you out early because he has practiced at 8 a.m. He swears he’ll start next week.
Goodbye, summer, you really flew by! Hello, fall! It's time to break out the football apparel from your closet, start planning…
Move over summer, it's officially the most wonderful time of the year! Get ready to guzzle down some hot cocoa,…
Where did the summer go!? The smell of apple crisp and pumpkin carving is right around the corner! Here are…
Apps are incredibly useful and I don't know how I'd get through all of my classes without them. From taking…
If you want to treat your dad to something nice during the holidays, don't worry, it doesn't necessarily have to…
With over around 40 or so on-campus housing options at Ohio State, I was able to experience life in Smith-Steeb…