Here is a list of things I currently know about penises: boys typically have them, they grow, they come in all different shapes and sizes. Basically, everything else is a big mystery. I’m surely not the only heterosexual girl who has limited knowledge of the penis. I mean, we have pretty limited contact with it in our daily lives. But if there’s one thing that is important for a healthy sex life, that’s communication! In order to communicate, you have to have some sort of knowledge of the subject. So next time you hop in the sheets with someone with a penis, impress them with your expertise with these 10 facts about penises!
1. Helpful Foreskins
Foreskins can be used to make skin grafts up to four acres large! That’s a lot of skin created from not that much skin. This can be super helpful for burn victims, the only unfortunate thing is that you could have penis skin on your face. But I don’t think anyone would ever know the difference!
2. Unlikely Erections
We already know that boners can happen at any time. But what you didn’t know is that they can also happen in the womb and after you die! You can never escape the embarrassment of an untimely erection apparently.
3. Masturbatory Insanity
Circumcision gained popularity in the U.S. originally as a way to stop boys from masturbating. Doctors thought that clipping the foreskin off would stop little boys from fondling themselves which would, in turn, help them not be insane later in life. Turns out, that it did neither!
4. Bunches of Boners
The average male has 11(!) erections a day. Nine of them will occur during sleep, so that’s probably why morning wood is such a common occurrence. This is one interesting facts about penises!
5. Cum Again?
Here are some fast facts about cum that are pretty astonishing. Each time a man ejaculates, he shoots out about one to two teaspoons of cum. Over a lifespan, that will add up to roughly 14 gallons of cum! Each load contains around seven calories, which is low enough for even the strictest diets. Finally, when a guy shoots his “shot” it can get up to 28 mph!
6. Big and Small
The largest erect penis in history measures to 13.5 inches. The smallest penis didn’t even reach half an inch when fully erect. But on average, penises are around 6 inches.
7. Swear on Your Penis
In ancient times, men would swear on their own penises to say that they were telling the truth. “Testify” comes from a roman legal practice where men would swear on their testicles. I wonder what would happen if they found to be lying…
8. Don Johnson
Just like vaginas, penises have thousands of pet names. Here are some fan favorites: dang-a-lang, one-eyed monster, little willy, pajama monster and schlong. What do you call it?
9. Funky Spunk
Red meat and dairy products tend to lead to the worst tasting ejaculation. Foods that make cum taste better are cinnamon, pineapple, lemon and peppermint. So ditch steak and milk for a nice pineapple-lemon-mint smoothie topped with cinnamon! This is one of the most helpful facts about penises!
10. Short and Sweet
The average male orgasm lasts about six seconds, where the average female orgasm stretches to over 20 seconds. Once again, women do it better!