Look, I don’t know what kind of slap in the face article this is, but I really shouldn’t be writing it. I don’t have a girlfriend so to suggest I know what games you and your significant other should be playing together to keep your relationship intact is laughable. That being said I would like to keep my job so I’m going to give it my best shot anyways. Most of these games might not even make sense. Am I supposed to pick bored games? Video games? I have no idea, so take this article with a big grain of salt and don’t come crying to me if you two break up.
Call of Duty Warzone
Listen, nothing is my romantic then you and your significant other taking down 148 virgin simps and securing a dub. Call of Duty Warzone, one of the most popular battle royals ever is fun and is a great team building activity. You could play with another couple and it’s a great virtual double date. If you don’t know how to play, learn together and triumph over your opponents using the endless combinations of guns attachments and perks in the game. If dropping a dub in this game can’t fix your relationship I don’t know what will.
8 ball pool
This one is for my basic bitches who’s relationship will definitely fail if this is the main game you and your significant other play together. 8 ball pool is about as basic as you can get through so if you’re desperate to play something give this iphone game a shot. If you thought real pool was kind of boring and limited as a game you’re going to be thrilled to find out this is the exact same thing, but worse.
Nothing says love more than bankrupting your significant other so bad they never want to look at you again. Maybe you have 4 hours to kill and you’re looking for a grueling game that will pass the time almost slower than you thought was possible. Look no further than monopoly. This game will have you saying “I have the right to an attorney” faster than you can say “free parking”. Do not pass go, do not collect $200’s, and sleep on the couch bathing in the champagne up victory and knowing your relationship as you know it is coming to an end.
The Game of Life
If you thought Monopoly was fun gear up for the game that’s somehow worse. The game of life is as frustrating as monopoly mixed in with a dose of reality. See how a game can go terribly wrong by marrying another person, having kids with that person, and trying to compete on a garbage workers salary while your significant other is a doctor. The game of Life teaches us all valuable life lessons, like the importance of saving, being lucky is better than being good, and maybe being single was the right choice.
This is a cute game to play with your significant other if you like revealing too much information about yourself. Get ready as a fun game quickly either turns sexual or gets you into major trouble. Remember, if they ask you which of their friends you would sleep with the answer is “none of them”. This game is entrapment and usually ends up with one party crying so play at your own risk.
Truth or dare
I’m running out of two person games I can think of off the top of my head, is it apparent? Truth or dare is another fun but dangerous game that I highly recommend you play at your own risk. If you’re hiding something maybe just stick to Monopoly. Also one time I got dared to take a bite out of a raw fish and I still have nightmares about it.
This game, unlike the other games thus far, is physical. Dominate your partner by showing off your superior flexibility, and then the next morning, when you realize you pulled something anguish in the knowledge that you’re hurt over a game for children. A better idea would be to watch the movie “Twister” and actually enjoy yourself, but if you’re dead set on playing a game maybe give this one a try.
This is the ultimate test of skill. Bop it I’m pretty sure determines who gets to become a Navy Seal and who doesn’t. This game separates the men from the boys and in my mind is the only true marker of who has the upper hand in a relationship. Bop it, a game that seems so simple and trivial will antagonize you to the point where you’re pulling out your own hair just to feel anything. I think you can pick this game up for under $20’s at your local Walmart.
If you’re burnt out on tic tac toe try it’s less successful younger brother. Boosting the concept of tic tac toe to four in a row was a game changer. Use your superior intellect to make four circles in a row and relish in the fact that no one can take the title of “connect 4 god” away from you. I’ve yet to see anyone play this game for more than 10 minutes and not be bored, but the first 2-3 games are fun.
This ones going to take some equipment and that’s why it’s last on my list. If you have the itinerary to make it happen though I would go for it. Nerf guns are better than water guns because they have bullets and there is a clear winner. Turn off all the lights in your house, split the house into two halves, and go head to head with your partner in the closest thing you can get to warfare without catching a felony. The stakes are high and your expectations for this being a good idea are even higher. Now go be the soldier you were always meant to be and be indoctrinated into Nerf lore.
Did I miss any games? Probably, I don’t have a girlfriend. If you want a good list why are you reading my articles? Let me know what games you guys are playing in the comments below.
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Jackson Wiberg is a student, comedian, and podcast personality. He currently attends school at the University of Wisconsin Milwaukee where he is pursuing his bachelors degree in communication. He's toured his stand up routine around the midwest and when he's not working likes spending time with his family and friends. You can follow Jackson on his social media: @jackson_wiberg on all social media platforms, and you can listen to his podcast The Blockbuster Boys podcast, the number 1 rated college comedy podcast in the world, on Apple podcasts and Spotify.